My 2 New Soul Mates~! Sony Vaio & HTC Touch Diamond2

Main Label: Life Updates

~ I'm Back After MIA From This Blog... ~
OOPS! Neither did I know... time really flies~~~! Its been 2 months that I did not update his blog! A new record for me... Well, should I say, this is another blog about "losing focus" ba... But before that...

~ My First Soul Mate ~
oh... btw, I just realized that this is the very first time that I am using my First Soul Mate, aka Sony Vaio VGN-FW46GJ/B to blog!!! Woohoo~~~! I got my most beloved First Soul Mate on the 15^th of August 2009, in the Bersada PC Fair! I went there with my sis, Finn.

Well... got a little story about getting this soul mate... Its all my clumsiness and ended up 摆乌龙 lor... haha... Mistaken that a deposit of RM500 had been given to the sales person but ended up realizing we haven't given to them! And was a bit angry... and then when we realized it our own, we felt paiseh lor...

Also, we got a nice optical mouse as Papa's Birthday present. And sis also got herself a HP printer...

A sad story to note... I finally got My First Soul Mate on 2015^th August 2009, I was not able to collect on the day of PC Fair because no more stock already. So we rescheduled it to collect on 20^th August. So happy... But... My Sony Vaio went to "Blue Screen of Death" on the 8th day after the collection! I was so angry and was really like "the world falls apart" like that... How would you feel when your newly bought lappy goes to blue screen of death on the 8th day of purchase???

After sadness & anger, it must be the time of "get back to reality" and solve the problem... Thank-God-ly, I did follow the instruction to create "Recovery Discs" the first few times I log into Window Vista. The 4 Recovery Discs actually included the Window Vista Setup programs and other backup tools to restore the lappy back to its default factory setting. So I used it to restore my new lappy... Everything was back to the default factory setting, and I gotta reinstall those "just installed programs" lor.

I googled about the problem and realized that what made my innocent Sony Vaio went to blue screen of death could be the Apple Quicktime thing. I was not sure whether this was the true or not. However, my lappy did went dying after I installed iTunes & Quicktime. So this time round, I would not dare to install Apple product... I really got the phobia. Instead, my sis introduced me to use VLC Media Player. I installed it, and man! It was good! My blog can play the background mp3 formatted music too!

Initially, I needed Quicktime so that my blog can playback mp3. But somehow, with VLC, it is much easier now! I am so happy! This is the only gain, or lesson learned from my lappy's blue screen of death... Nevertheless, I should be grateful. :)

~ My Second Soul Mate ~
And on 7th October 2009, I got myself another soul mate! -- HTC Touch Diamond 2!!! Woohoo~~~ Irene Tan YY, a new friend I knew from Clark Hatch helped me to get it first as she worked there... I'm thankful for her help! Haha... And oops, haven't got the chance to return her $$$ yet...

Having this HTC phone got its pros and cons. I am still at the stage of exploring & getting familiarized with the phone... It is kind of like my first PDA phone too. So there are many things still new to me. I only have one thought in my mind, i.e. "can I speak to a HTC staff about this phone? I have many many questions to ask!!!"

When I first got this Second Soul Mate, I realized that we have to make times and invest $$$ on this technology thing... IT stuff... One cannot be so far away from IT nowadays. So to me, it is an investment for me to upkeep with technology... I would want to use this as the starting point to explore all other things, such as Windows Mobile 6.1, TouchFLO 3D, etc.

In the beginning, I really liked my Second Soul Mate very much... Well, simply because it is my new toy! However, as I keep on exploring the phone, I figured that this phone is not as flexible as I thought. I personally like things that are flexible, more options, etc. Because I am kind of like a niche person, niche market, I like things to be more personalized in my own style, own way and own habit, even to the extent of little details do matter to me. Therefore, I really don't like gadgets that are rigid, limited options and lack of flexibility. But as for now, I will say that everything is still under "exploration stage", so maybe the problem can solved, and new features can be discovered ba... And I am not sure whether it is the problem of Windows Mobile or HTC phone itself...

This phone is a little slow... which at times can be annoying. And then I tried my friend's iphone, and it the speed was like instantaneously, indeed faster than Touch Diamond 2. :( I kind of like iphone now... haha... And also, I am still looking forward for Sony Ericsson Satio^TM! Haha... ILIKE!

But as for now, it is still a nice phone to use... I like the messaging options, it provides many input methods for me to choose. But don't know why, sometimes the typed letter can auto capitalized and sometimes cannot. For example, the first letter of the first word, it will automatically capitalized, but sometimes, it just stays as small letter... Don't know why... I still need time to explore lor...

Oops... very long entry already... I shall stop now liao.

Too Many Things To Do ---- I Am Losing Focus!!!

Main Label: Life Update

Argh... Again, too many stories happened!!! But... can I ever write them down? Sigh... Sometimes, I really wonder what is the purpose for me to set up this blog? I could remember that all the while I always wanted to write blog, to write down all my "Dramatic" stories in life, so that I can remember them, and I am so afraid that I will forget about them... With encouragement from friends, I started this blog. But I always don't have the time to update those interesting stories... Yes... My life has upgraded from "somewhat dramatic" to "totally drama-mama"! Argh~~!!!

~ ~ Too Many Things, Too Much Commitments, and Now Losing Focus ! ! ! ~ ~

~ 1. Err... HR Issues? ~
I had been busy with ... err... hmm... should I say "HR" -- Human relationship? And this eventually got me into doing some really stupid stuff... to the extent that I almost cannot forgive myself! Well... that's the time, Jesus came and challenged me again. Immediately, I gotta try my best to forgive myself... I am glad that things are rather coming to a happy ending as of until now... I thought it gonna have certain bad ending... But...

I always joke my life as a TV series... 电视连续剧... And I tell my friends this story is coming to final episode... and hoping for good ending... And... Season 2 is on the way~! With new character~! Ahaha... Yeah~! Charot!

~ 2. Angel @ work! ~
Did a super duper drama mama angel work... Confidential. ;)

~ 3. Stock Exchange ~
Started Buying Stock Exchange! Wish me good luck! I think the timing is rather right for me to go in to the market. But there're still a lot of things for me to learn, and I have yet to find the time to do the study and research, etc.

My father was very supportive and glad that I finally doing this... I asked him how he registered his online quotes service, because I wanted to buy shares too... Not long after, he introduced his broker to me. Actually, this is the way we communicated lah... haha... I hint hint him, then he would just bring his broker to me... Then this broker, Louise, is an old guy, helped me to register lor. He is kind and helpful and informative... Well informative in a sense that it's a little winding... Haha... But still, I am thankful.

I was told to open a personal current account in the bank, so that I can get the cheque book for the purpose of paying. And yeah~! I got my very personal cheque book for the first time! Ahaha...

Ok, ok... the point I want to make here is all about my beloved father's reaction... I got my share-buying account, it comes with number "121", my family love the number "21", so Papa was like... "Wah... you got such a nice number..." and he was smiling... Then I told him my current account number... He like lagi more happy lor... "Wah... also nice number leh... You asked for them to give this number for you, is it? Or... " Then I replied, "no lah, it so happened to get this number when I went to open account lor... Didn't ask them to reserve this number for me one lah..."

I think, to him, it is like good beginning lor... "好兆头!"

Then the next is about my mama... We (Papa, Mama & I) so happened to watch TV together in the morning while having breakfast, the show was “早安你好！” then it talked about investment, saying the best way to earn money, as in term of earning the interest, is by stock exchange. My Mama always put her $$$ in Fixed Deposit (FD), which Papa always knows that this is not a good method. So he emphasised it again. Because of the "economic tsunami" last year, the FD rate now is greatly reduced. Then Mama now also decided to put $$$ in stock exchange, she asked papa to buy for her, of which then, Papa refer her to me. Then recently, she finally gimme her $$$ and I transferred it into my account already...

I personally don't have much $$$ in my bank account, I only took out a little to do the "trying". Papa had asked my bro-in-law， Liang Jun（LJ) to help me with this thing. LJ was shocked the first time he heard that, because papa is the one he learned a lot from... But anyway, LJ introduced me to buy Pelikan... I wanted to buy 1 only, but my father said "buy 1 no use one, buy 2"... so I bought 2 shares lor... and of which, like left no more money for the rest liao...

Then after I transferred Mama's $$$... I thought I can "cheat" a little of those $$$ to buy my lappy... haha... But... not long after, Papa asked me to buy this shares using Mama's $$$... He asked me to call to broker and buy... He said 7 shares... But I hesitated...Then he was like, "what are you waiting for?" I replied, "7 shares? That's about 90% of Mama's $$$ liao." But eventually, I called and did the transaction already. Haha... A businessman's mindset is indeed different lor...

And now, Mama is going to gimme more $$$ to buy... Heh heh... I will try my best not to devour the $$$ for myself... haha... Oops... erm... Well... "just kidding"... I got "Integrity" one ok! Haha...

~ 4. Craving Sooo Many for Sony Products~
I am so materialistic lately... Especially I am craving for Sony products:-
1. Sony Vaio VGN-FW46GJ/B
2. Sony Ericsson Satio^TM (not released yet, or maybe C905, or W995)
3. PSP 3000!!! -- maybe red colour! And with the GPS thing...
4. Sony Bravia S20 Series - Orange colour
5. And forgetting not, PS3 16G !!!
(Lazy to put up the pictures... XP)
See that? But right now, I sooo sooo sooo want the Sony Vaio lappy... I need a super duper powerful lappy for my multi-tasking life man! There's a PC Fair on mid August here in JB, Bersada Conventional Hall I think. I definitely want to get it at ALL COST! Haha... As for Satio^TM, it is still not out yet... so gotta wait... Argh... I need more $$$ !!!

Yeah, I am not so much of a "iLife" person, but indeed, I am a "Sony Style" person, you see. ;)

"I Style" ;)

~ 5. Venture into New Business ! ~
My sis, Finn wanted to venture into T-shirt business... She kind of like feels that I am always "eng eng cheng cheng" (means "busy" in Hokkien) like that, so she asked me to help her. But of course, not because I am available so she asked me lah, but because 1. I am her brother, 2. I am clever. Haha... We did travel to KL before to look at the shirt printing machine before... But... it is not so ideal to buy it now.

At first, I only helped her as on the superficial level only, but now, I think I came out a pretty good name for our business, and that makes me now very driven for it! Haha... I hope things can work out good, better and best! Prosper, prospering & prosperous!

Prosper, prospering & prosperous in my 1. stock exchange, 2. new shirt business, and 3. Sony products!!! Ahaha...

~ 6. PeiO and Ah Fer Came In JB Again ~
Yeah~! I asked PeiO, and finally they came again! This time I introduced my new friend, Wayne to them. We were having great time together! Lunching, shopping, dinnering, nite-time teaing, and PeiO can do her auntie-hobby here -- prawn fishing! or "prawning"? Haha... I still cannot believe that I got friends who love such hobby! So auntie... Haha... But, but, but... she managed to hook 3 prawns... And this is not her best record lor...

I shared with them what I had gone through with the HR thing during a long journey to the "legendary" Japanese restaurant. The traffic was slow because it was after work time, going-home time, so I managed to tell my long long story during the long drive... Haha...

And yes, the Japanese food was nice! When we got there, we gotta wait for about 1 hour, and that's the time we went, err... I mean PeiO went prawning... Haha... Think PeiO got the photos for the day... Will ask her to upload into Facebook ba... But she is like forever busy...

Oh yes, btw, PeiO's boy boy proposed to her! I first got this news from reading Ah Fer's Multiply blog. Was a little upset that she didn't tell me in person, but its ok. After I verified with her, I am still happy for her! "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" to you PeiO, you are always my 女神!

~ 7. Listening to Secret Garden music ~
I happened to find this song calls, "Song from a Secret Garden" from my data, it was sent by Ah Fer via gmail like long time ago. I listened to it and realized that I totally like it! I spent one whole Sunday trying to put it into my blog site. I was like wasting the whole day and finally found out the problem and solved it already. Now I hate box.net! It was given me the biggest problem in putting the music in my blog. The link it provided was not a mp3 format. That's why cannot play music. I uploaded the song to "google" site and it works eventually!

Anyway, I was shopping again and happened to found this song! With only a little time of hesitation, I bought this album from Secret Garden. It is a "Deluxe Version", like a compilation, it comes with 2 CDs and 1 DVD. It cost about RM80 for the whole package, after Popular Bookshop member discount. At first I thought I was buying this song for RM80. But thank-God-ly nope, I fell in love with many of the songs inside. Yeah~! Glad that I owned it now.

~ 8. Continuing My Lasam Life Now ~
There are many issues in my life that are right now in "Keep In View" (KIV) mode. At the same time, there are also many things waiting for me to do... especially work stuff. And now gotta venture into new business... Wish me all the best and pray for me ya! Gotta get busy now! Will defintely update again!

A Long Waited Update But Hope that it is Not So Long Entry

Main Label: Life Updates

~ An Unusual Being ~

Woohoo~! Finally got myself a little time to do a long waited update... And oops again... The whole of May I didn't blog!!! Sigh... I am overly committed with much stuff in my life... But today I am somewhat so exited! This morning woke up just "fresh" and full of energy even though I slept about 2am last night! Well... there's something about me that I always wanted to tell people... that I really have an unusual, funny thoughts mechanism, or behavioral mechanism that is totally opposite from the usual way... Like, in this case, if people lack of sleep, they tend to appear low energy and stuff... But for me now, I am way too excited and energitic that I don't even know what's going on with me... I remembered PeiO, my 女神... she is of similar to me in this case... If she lacks of sleep, she is like a crazy woman! Haha... energitic, lots of crappy words coming out from her... Well... I am kind of like that now too... Ahaha... And that just gimme the energy, the "courage" to do some blogging now... Ahaha...

~ Drama Mama Lieh ~
Again... Too much stuff and events and stories happened in between my last blog... Really again... it is like I just can't cope up by blogging those stories down... My life is changing from "somewhat dramatic" to "really dramatic" now... And the episodes just keep on adding on and on, there's no playback! No rewind! I wanted to write down a dynamic episode, but the next moment, another dynamic event occurred! Ahhh... too much stories to tell... too little time to jog them down...

~ Emo Elmo Lieh ~
There was this time, I was really down and "Emo Elmo"... I browsed photos in my hand phone memories... those pictures was like "come to life" to me... every picture brought me back to the moment that how I wished I could go back time and dwell at that moment again... And that's the time, I realized... memory is very important to me... Technology are so advanced that you can capture all kinds of memories via photo-taking, video-recording, voice-recording, blogging down and stuff... But technology hasn't been so advanced yet that it can bring you back to the moment... Aigh... maybe it is for the good...

~ Shanghai Trip Updates??? ~
I wanted to blog down, to record down my trip to Shanghai, a moment of great experience & relax & etc. etc. But... guess nope... at least is not now... I hope I can still remember all the stuff that I had learned during the 9 days trip... Well again... a lot of things happened during the trip... It is indeed "happening"! Other than site-seeing, shopping, enjoy delicious food, buying & spending, feeling cheated by buying those stuff, relaxing and stuff... Our group also had "internal problems"... I am quite amazed by myself, about my ability to analyze, to understand people within a very short period of time! Well... somehow I think I am getting better in doing tims... Aw... my mind now is generating lots of possibility now... About how I can use such talent to change the world... for better of course... but... aigh... My God, my God arh...

~ Got My First Ever Principal Credit Card ~
Yeah~! Finally I had gotten a principal credit card for myself~! Yeah~! I myself didn't apply for it... The Maybank decided to gimme one because of certain criteria of which... I forgot! Ahaha... To think that last time I was trying to apply Eon Bank credit card but was rejected! Hmmmp! But this time round, I received a call from Maybank KL when I was at home... The lady on phone informed me about this credit card... As usual, I was skeptical about the call... afterall, phone-call cheating is very common... But then it is not a cheating phone-call afterall! The lady told me there's no "terms and condition apply", no minimum usage required, I am free to use whenever Iwant or Ican choose not to use it at all. And there's no annual fees stuff too! But... who knows what will happen in the future?!

Nevertheless... I am grateful for a credit card like that too... I always wanted my own credit card, and to be indepentant from my lovely dad. It is definitely good to have a supplement card from daddy... but he was complaining about not returning him the $$$! Ahaha...

~ New Lappy?! Definitely! ~
Now with my credit card... erm... 2 credit cards! I am planning to buy a laptop! Sony Vaio! Seires FW something... Now waiting for a PC Fair or something... Yeah~! Buy via instalment! Hallelujah~!

~ New Way of Blogging?! ~
Well... until now you may have noticed... my different style of blogging... I wanted to try new style of blogging too... My previous way was way too meticulous, although that's me. Yet still... it is time consuming and I am always looking for a quiet time for me to write down a very detailed entry, and of which, such time is very difficult to get... So I am writing more stories... like a summary, by minimizing those little details, and of which, are still very important to me though...

Another reason for blogging in this manner is because... well... you know... I am now very excited & energitic due to lack of sleep (LOS)... so I didn't care much and "just do it" lor...

Yes! This style of blogging is extremely disorganized and messy and raw and blah blah... But... that's what blogging is all about... Your style, your mood, your attitude, your literature, etc... all blended in, or mixed into your blog entry... Don't have to make any sense sometimes, because there are times it is not the stories, or "what is going on?" that words are trying to capture, but the "emo", "feelings", "memory" that words are trying to capture, you know what I mean? Cos I am now really can't be bothered about how people reading this entry, I am aware that it can be misleading... but... still... I am "just do(ing) it"! Ahaha...

Going to do some work now... I wish I can blog more and more and more! Do more and more and more! Life is not boring to me, but life is too busy for me! XP

Life Can't Cope Up with My Blog Updates

Main Label: Life Updates

Haha... Time really flies when I'm busy living with my life with all sorts of funny incidents and stories keep on going around my life and eventually I kind of like "lost contact" with my recent memories and therefore failed to update my blogs with the freshness of those stories.. It was like I was so busy living with those interesting, somewhat dramatic life and it was so "intense" that I left not much time blogging them down... Ahaha... funny, funny...

Now I really don't know where to start... Hmmm... Okay, got it...

~ A Social-able Year of Reunion with Old Friends & Getting Know New Friends! ~
In the beginning of this year, I happened to read a source of Chinese Horoscope about this year. I read mine, of which is "monkey". It said that this year happened to be a very socializing year for me of the possibility of getting back, or reunion with old friends and the chances of getting new friends. And also, in the middle year, there will have higher chance of getting attached!

Well.. I find it very true for the initial statements... Until now, I had met lots of old friends, and those hard / seldom to see one. There was once I went to Singapore Immigration Centre and I met Chew Peng, my secondary school band member! She was rushing to work, so we didn't talk much... And in my previous entries, I already mentioned that I had met Samuel, Haw Chon and Wei Yuan... Also, it so happened that Haw Chon had teamed with Cher Sie, my secondary school classmate to gimme a "surprise" Birthday celebration! I was touched and "surprised" by their "bloated-out surprise"! Haha... But that was another story...

Then in the Facebook (FB), Yi Wen posted our secondary school photos that eventually attracts all those classmate to drop a message. And because of that, we all had added one another in the FB! It brought back lots and lots of memories of those school times...

I guess those were enough to explain that I indeed had met many old friends... So what about new friends? Recently, I met Wayne Sam in the Clark Hatch Fitness Centre. Wayne was a friend of my sis, Finn. She asked him to add me in the FB and gym together with me. And he did. The first time we talked, he was like saying every time he saw me in the gym and he commented this "Hmmm... this guy really look like Finn." Ahaha... So I told him "so you must approach me first mah because you can recognize me..." At first, I saw his FB profile photo and it was quite difficult to recognize him, so I asked him to approach me first...

I always gym alone, attending those classes alone. And of course, I don't mean that I am being lonely and pathetic lah... At times, I prefer to be alone while working out, I can be more focus and time saving. I really don't like those social talk with people there, because it is really diverting my focus and wasting my time. And again, of course I am not rude enough not to talk to anyone who approach me lah. Then now came along Wayne who spices up my gym time. And because we have a lot of common interests and stuff, within shortest possible time, we became very good friend and gym buddy lor... Haha... Now we always go to classes together like Body Pump and Body Combat. And because now got someone accompanying and encouraging me to go for other classes, I attended Body Balance recently and found myself like it very much! Though I still can't balance lah... Haha... In fact, I find that Body Balance is really of good help for me to do some work while working... With some balance body gesture, I can do the work with more effectiveness!

Then there's this instructor from Philippines, his name is Dan. He is the one who teaches Body Combat and Body Pump. He talked to me first and then he introduced his friend Ryan to me. Ryan was a member of the Clark Hatch too. And actually, Wayne had already made friend with Ryan and Dan before I did. Yesterday was a public holiday for us. We actually met up for lunch, (Wayne wasn't with us for the lunch because he had something on) movie and dinner. There's a total of 6 of us. The 3 Philippines Instructor, Dan, Ireen and Edward, Ryan, Wayne and I. Ireen is the Body Balance instructor and Edward is teaching Pilate, Yoga and Body Balance too. Because of common interests, we get along very well... Ahaha...

~ Movie: Fast & Furious 4 ~
And this week I was suppose to meet Samuel for a movie and it ended up he watched a movie with the 6 of us in Tebrau Jusco. So the 7 of us watched "Fast & Furious 4" which was in fact a very good, well-done movie. I was surprised and touched by the movie the fact that the story has certain depth in it... of friendships, loves, betrayal, and stuff... At first, I thought this kind of movie is all about car racing, get a dumpy storyline to fit in those racing scenes or car chasing scenes like that. But this movie is not so, it is packed with interesting story with twist at certain moments and with those really exciting speeding scenes. I find it the last scenes of car chasing in the hidden mine area is something very new. I simply enjoyed the movie perfectly!

After the movie, Samuel gotta leave to do his own stuff and back to the 6 of us, went for a dinner at the famous Nasi Lemak shop at Permas Jaya. My stomuch wasn't feeling well, but as a courtesy, I joined them to eat the famous Nasi Lemak. And the fact is, that was my first time there, so I would like to try it out. But to my taste, I don't really like it leh... Maybe because I heard so much about it and had high expectation towards it... Or maybe because my stomuch wasn't good that time... Anyway, we continued our "crazy" topics there and Ireen kept asking me to talk... "So 'Willy', tell us something about yourself" she said... And yah, they called me "Willy"... Haha... I got a new name... Anyways, my mind was empty and I couldn't really talk much... Ouch, stomachache, can't talk lah.. .Haha... Anyways, we called it a day about 9pm++.

The moment I got home and read an SMS from Phyllis... OOPS! I was not supposed to eat my dinner because I had previously promised to do a blood test the next day (i.e. today)! Aiya... to think that I was considering whether to eat or not just now... Sigh... Nevertheless, have to postpone the blood test...

The Dan, being the natural leader in the gang of 6, has a habit of sms-ing us a "motivational message of the day". As a way of "returning favours", or "showing off", if you prefer to say that, heh heh... I "counter" back a quote to him. And this morning, I prepared a message for him too... Just waiting for him to send me first, and in fact, he did. The moment I read the message, I was so shocked! It was the exact quote from Oprah Winfrey that I prepared this morning! How in the heaven could such coincidence be happening! You know, “买马票都没有将准啦！” "Buy 4D also no such accurate lor!" That makes me wonder, maybe I do come with certain psychic power afterall... Haha... Anyways, here's the quote:

"Doing your best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment."

- Oprah Winfrey.

Well, I guess those new friends are more than enough to illustrate my "really"-social life already? Haha... Let's see will I get attached this mid-year... Ahaha...

~ Revelation of Love ~
Sigh... When I thought this chapter of my life (no, I am not refering to "revelation of love" here) is coming to an end, then there it comes a glimpse of hope that light up the possibility of next chapter... new episode... Sigh... somehow my life is full of so many possibility of interesting story and even though, there are so many interesting story going on with my life now... Haha... I do have a very positive mindset afterall... Wayne commented that my sis and I are high EQ people with very positive thoughts... Haha... I am just overly positive and keep on imagine stuff lah...

I always say this, and this became my very own favorite quote:

"He who loves much, possesses much."

- Guru Willy... Ahaha... that's me.

And maybe because I really love, and love a lot, I do possess those I love in one way or another. And also because, "love" and "pain" are related, I suffered pain as well at times. Love more, hurt more; Love deeper, the cut is deeper... But all and all, that does not stop me from loving... :D

Recently, just recently... something stirred in my heart, and that was what I referred in the sub-topic "Revelation of Love", that brings me back to the love of God once again... Hah! Somehow, when you think that "God is not in the office", "He is in the workspace working right next to you!" Or if you would prefer, "He is working right inside your very heart..." In fact, God was speaking to me in the beginning of the movie yesterday... Something had troubled me and I couldn't focus on the movie, and so I told God to gimme the peace and stuff, so that I can focus and enjoy the movie. Then He comforted me, giving me the peace I needed. I didn't feel the goose bump, the intense of God's presence wasn't there as well. But there's this "certain love feelings" that flows out from my heart and was telling me something, thus eventually settled my heart so that I could enjoy the movie...

Last night, as inspired by many sources of thoughts and stuff... I came into this "Revelation of Love", and when the full sentence is finally formed, it somehow sounded so familiar as if I had thought of this before... Sigh... I am really a forgetful person lor... Here's the quote:

"It is funny that in love-ship, we tend to find the one and only Mr. & Mrs. Right that worth us giving up everything and anything in life just to be with them, yearning for the 'Happily Ever After'. You search high and low, and finally... and (of course) surprisingly, you've truly found him / her, someone that worth so much that you are willing to give up your faith, your family, your friend, your money, time and effort, your future and stuff... and that's the time you will realize that the one and only Mr. & Mrs. Right of yours, will not ask you to give up your faith, your family, your friends, your future, your everything just to be with him / her! I'm not sure whether this is the 'true love', But one thing I am sure is that, this is indeed 'the love in its purest form'. Oh, God I'm contented! Really..."

- Guru Willy, and that's me... Ahaha...

Well... my tears almost running down now... Haha... Hmmm... I think this is something similar to the idea that was saying around the Internet long lond time ago... "The one who worth your tears is the one who won't make you cry..." “一个值得让你流泪的人，是不会让你流泪的。。。” or something like that... haha... I was just talking to my sis in MSN now... here's another quote that I wrote to her...:

"When a couple's love becomes stable, it opens the opportunity for the couple to go for his / her own interests. And this brings back the threat of losing attention of one another"

- Guru Willy again... haha...

Heh Heh... If you could truly understand the essence of "He who loves much, possesses much"... May you find inner healing in any situation of your life now. ;) gtg to help Papa in his PC now... I wish I can blog more. :(

A Lot to Blog, No Time to Blog

Main Label: Life Updates

Just want to pin down some thoughts and update here before I go about doing my work... Now is the beginning of a new month -- March, and oh no! Can't believe it! 2 months has passed just like that again! Argh~~~! And I haven't finished my CNY event updates and ... my Birthday updates... I thought that I am going to write all of these down now but since is the new month, I got many work to do...

You know it is kind of different to blog / write down what's in your mind right now the very moment, and to write a flashback of your life. Those memories that is closer to you in time, tend to be clearer in your head; and those of past-tense-stories, you will need a time of sit down and recall, of which it takes more time... So I thought of writing some random thoughts in my mind now rather than continue my CNY and Birthday updates! And I kind of worried that I will forget these thoughts so I think I better to write them down now...

~ A Lot to Blog, No Time to Blog ~
My life is full of "somewhat dramatic" stories that I always wanted to write them down... Those stories and thoughts are sooo interesting that I am so afraid that I will forget about them. This is one of the reasons that I started to blog, to write down all the interesting stories in my life... However, after I had setup a space in blogspot to blog, wanting or having the desire to write down every memorable events that I ever encountered, until now I still haven't written much of those stories yet... Just like in my "What's In My Mind Right Now?" column (only in lieh-not-enough.blogspot.com) had said, “有好多好多的想法，概念；有好多好多的回忆，都想把他们一一记载下来。。。因为我真得很害怕把它们给忘了。。。我发现。。。我是个健忘的人。。。”

I discovered 3 reasons for this...
1. Inconveninces for blogging, such as time and places and availability of Internet connection. No time, because of work, other stuff, daily / routine stuff, and stuffs that I always wanted to do. No places... Whenever I want to blog, I will prefer a place of quietness or being alone, because any distractions or interruptions will hinder my thoughts mechanism, resulting me forget what to write or how to continue the sentence or paragraph. When that happens, I will tend to become frustrated and losing my temper a little. And this is what I don't want to happen.

A place of quietness is not easy to get... Definitely, people will think of going to cafe, like Starbucks to use the Wi-Fi there to surf Internet or doing anything online with their precious laptop, but to me... I got a lousy laptop... Well, that laptop of mine, I just suddenly recalled that there are quite a lot of stories about it too! Not of good testimony though. But of those how noisy is it and it is not for outdoor purpose because the battery will run out within an hour... Erm... "an hour" was too nice of saying... Actually is within 30 minutes! And so, I can't go out to Starbuck with that laptop of mine and order a 10 bucks ++ coffee sitting there all day long to do my blogging! And that's why, I always wanted to buy a brand new laptop for myself... I am thinking of Sony VAIO... But nevertheless... I cannot afford it now...

2. Another reason, which I think is very true is "my interesting stories of life is getting more and more and so much more that eventually I couldn't cope up / catch up / capture with!" Ahaha... You see... the reason why I will skip my 2 "promised" previous updates and writing something different now, could tell that this is so true already...

I could still remember the time when I started this blog (blogspot one), I was in the "transition" of giving up my SPR status. For that, I also got a series of events that happened directly and indirectly related to the story... I thought of writing something else first, like more about myself before I would write the story down. But till now, I haven't written that SPR stories... Haha... And in fact, I haven't finished talking "everything about myself" yet... Whatever I wanted to write about myself, such as "A Typical Piscean" and etc, I also haven't written them yet...

Events... somewhat dramatic events, interesting events in my life keeps on coming and coming that I cannot catch up / capture by writing them now. And story will go on / carry on and somtimes, the twist will come in an unexpected way (well, that's why it is called a twist ya!) that might change the course or add colours into my story... I go about from one status to another status without writing whatever has happened... Status... include my spiritual well-beings, my physical health condition such as weight, emotional feelings, environment around me and stuff. And in fact (again), I haven't blog about my unhealthy and fatness condition until now, even I had lost some weight already! Haha...

3. The third reason simply because is... I write very long... Well, most people can agree with this. Time is used to write a super duper long entry! But to me, it is the every and very little details that eventually make up the big story, making the story the way and the reason how / why it is interesting what...

~ Why Am I Talking About All These? ~
Well... I started to write about this is because a friend of mine asked me whether I am happy or not in MSN. This is the reason for initiated this entry but however, this is not the answer for the question whether I am happy or not...

Actually, it was Eliz who asked me "Are you happy now?" in MSN yesterday. Though this question can be simple, casually asked, it somehow got me thinking... I went about telling her "I supposed to be happy, because I am supposed to be positive minded." Then she kind of like asking me to share... That moment all I had in my mind was one recent "interesting story" that I encountered, so I bursted out to her about the story, not in full details though. And one of the words that I used to conclude is something like this: "You may think that such case is rare, but to me, I already get used to it because I always encountered such things... A simple task that can be done within one step, will take me more than two weeks to accomplish simply because something happen in the middle of the process."

Well... that's already a very simple way of telling her... in fact, sometimes there are tasks that took months or even years to accomplish if you would believe... and to add on that "something happen in the middle of the process", is like, some more thing will happen in the middle of the process, and also in the middle-middle of the process... Haha... It is like: Step 1. Start, Step 2. Done. But because something happen in the middle, so the process become, Step 1, 1a, 2. If got more problem, then: Step 1, 1a, 1b, 2. But when Step 1b got problem of its own, then: Step 1, 1a, 1b(i), 2. For more steps: Step 1, 1a, 1b(i), 1b(ii), 1b(iii), 2.

You don't believe? Well... let me show you one of my life experience, the story that I told Eliz, but this time, in perfected full details... A story of "How I wanted to Install Symantec Norton Antivirus Software (SNAS) into My Office Computer" Sound pretty easy? NOT SO in my case... and now you could have total understanding that why my blog is always so long one...

1. Mami (Elyn) asked me to buy antivirus software because hers had expired.
2. Promised her to buy and that's before CNY.
3. Went to Cytech, a computer shop in Taman University (in Johor) that sells whole lot of cheapest computer stuff... A shop that I always recommend to my friends. I ordered the SNAS, but the boss said this needed to wait for the trasport to come, they don't have stock at hand. I was awared of possibility of delay, so I asked him how long, he said 2 days. So I reassured with him, "are you sure?" he replied, "if no accident, it can reach in 2 days."

I placed my ordered on 19th Jan (Monday), thinking that could get it 2 or 3 days later, i.e. Thursday. And we, Daddee (Meng Hua), Mami, Phyllis, Cai Yan and I had already fixed on Friday to have our "Reunion Dinner", and I thought that I could install the SNAS for Daddee & Mami on that day.

4. On Thursday, I went to take my order. They said the driver (who did the delivery work from other supplier) had already stopped working because of the CNY. So my ordered was delayed. I had to wait after the CNY of which, is not 2, 3 days... but 1 week.

5. The shop reopened on 2nd February, I went to check out again on 3rd Feb... Oh... the supplier there said haven't started work yet... or something happened... Gotta wait...

6. One more week over, think about Friday, the 13th, finally I had gotten the SNAS. So next thing is to go Elyn house to install.

7. In the end, we fixed a day on 20th Feb, Friday to go to her house to do the installation. And also, I expected they would gimme a "surprise Birthday" celebration! Haha... Indeed, the surprise came on...

8. the morning of 20th Feb, received a message from Phyllis that Elyn was warded into hospital, waiting for giving birth to the cute Dora. Indeed a surpirse...

9. That Friday night, after work, went to hospital to see Daddee & Mami. Mami was waiting for giving birth. In the end, we didn't have time to go to her house to install the antivirus software...

10. Mami only out of hospital on 23th, Monday. But their baby Dora had to stayed in the hospital for few days because of the skin colour stuff... Wanted to go to Elyn house to install the thing again, eventually, we fixed on 27th, Friday. It was the day that the baby came home too...

11. Finally, was able to install the thing into Elyn's laptop successfully! And the story didn't stop here...

The version of the antivirus software I bought allowed for 3 users' installation. I thought Daddee and Mami got 2 computers to install, but realized that they only needed 1 account, another computer could not access to Internet connection... Initially, I didn't want to install antivirus software in my computer this time round, but since I got extra users' account, so I thought of installig it.

THE NEXT DAY -- 28th February, Saturday.
12. Insert the installation CD into my office computer only to realize that the DVD-rom had problem.
13. Test the DVD-rom with another computer to confirm that it did not function already.
14. Went to Cytech to buy for a new DVD-writer. The boss asked me whether I want IDE or SATA. My old computer can only use IDE and of which... NO STOCK!
15. Suddenly remembered that my home PC supports SATA, went home and check.
16. Took out the DVD-writer from home PC, because it is IDE, I could use it for my office PC.
17. Went to office to install the IDE DVD-writer. Successful.
18. Inserted the installation CD and successful installed the antivirus software.

NOW... the biggest hit of the story is here...
19. The software now asked for activation, which required Internet connection. (anger not yet bursted)

20. Realised that I didn't connect the modem. So I did it and turned on the modem and tried again... then that software had a message saying that "failed to connect to Internet, make sure that I had connect to the Internet and try again." And it automatically launched Internet Explorer with a link that is... erm... broken... (anger not yet bursted)

21. Restarted and tried again. Failed again... Thought that something was not right already. (anger not yet bursted)

22. Tried go to Symantec main site itself, but received message "Page Load Error". Tried many times and still gotten the same thing. So I concluded that, the site must be busy. Let me wait for Monday to try again. So I went about doing my other work. (not yet)

23. After work, went to the shop again to buy a SATA DVD-driver for my home PC. The moment I got there, they were shutting down the door already... What a luck... (not yet)

24. Sunday went to Singapore... another side story here... so on Monday, 2nd March, i.e. yesterday, came to office and tried the activation again... SAME THING. (not yet)

25. Went to the main site again, SAME THING. So I googled about "Symantec site down" and... found news saying that someone, a hacker spot a bug or something in Symantec site, and the Symantec company shut down the whole Symantec site! Even until now! Yes... I just tried again and still "Page Load Error". Other sites work perfectly fine one lor...

This is one of the links to the news, from networkworld.com.

And for now... I couldn't stop the negative thoughts already... It is not that you can see an antivirus software company's web site got pulled down everyday of your life one lor... And even until now, I still couldn't activate my account. And the interesting story here is, on Friday, installed on Elyn's laptop it was perfectly successful! But THE NEXT DAY, (now you know why I capitalised these 3 words previously), when it was my turn to install for myself. I could not have it done perfectly! And to think that before installation, I gotta change a DVD-driver first! And I am not done yet with this story... now the Symantec site still down and..

26. 2nd March, went to buy the SATA, LG 22X DVD writer and installed it on my home PC. But kind of "not compatible", and in fact, the motherboard of the PC has already got problem itself... and that, was another story about that home PC of mine...

Now... finally... "Am I happy?" I should be... And that's another story too... Ahaha... Got such interesting source of story to tell, should I not be happy? And that just reminded me... my lovely Jesus had told me in person, "I only want you to be happy..." So I am!

My 29th Happy?? Birthday

Main Label: Birthday

Yesterday was my 29th Birthday, the last of 20s... Many stories to tell... But I haven't finished my previous story yet... Wanted so much to continue and on hold about my Birthday updates because I will be having another belated celebration with my Poly friends on the 1st March. But something... unpleasant happened yesterday that left me no mood to continue my CNY updates... sigh...

Don't think I will write these unhappy experience here. Thinking whether should I confront with that person or not... But then now my anger has already dropped and maybe just let the matter be gone with the time ba...

Anyways... just a little updates for my Birthday... I already received my first present from Phyllis (Feili) on 20th February, Friday. I think they wanna gimme a surprise celebration but somebody spoiled their whole plan... Who? Haha... the person is none other than the tiny little Dora! The daughter of Daddee & Mami (Meng Hua & Elyn). OK! More details after my last celebration on 1st March...

The point I want to make here is, Phyllis gimme 2 shirts as my present. When I gave it to my mum for wash, she complained that I had so many clothes already and she asked me to tell my friends to give angbao instead! Ahaha... I wanted so much to voice-record her dialogue! She was so cute lor... Very funny lor... Ask my friends to gimme angbao instead... Though, I think I really wanted it! Ahaha...

Then on 24th, I got another "surprise", but a "bloated out surprise" celebration with a special source of friends that is really something that I never had before. We even celebrated in a Hotel room! Ahaha... Of course, details on hold for now. Guess what? These friends had given me another 2 pieces of clothes! Ahaha... and now I don't dare to "haolian" in front of my mother liao...

Oops... Almost forgot to mention, my sis went to Bangkok recently... early of February... and guess what she bought for me? 2 shirts!!! well... one piece is a very-Finn green colour shirts and another one is a very-Tomy (one of my sis's close friend) red singlet! And you see... within a single month, I already received 6 shirts! And with some mother's complains and nagging! Ahaha... So... no more shirt-present please...... I am writing this here because I know that Minnie, who will be celebrating my Birthday on the 1st March, will most probably reading my blog! AHaha... so buy something else lah...

Anyway, Mini Minnie, and thank you so much to keep on coordinating all these gatherings. I know that it is very hard to get everyone together, and to contact each individual asking for their available time and only to get some last minute changes and have to go about doing the recycle of contacting each individual again and only to get someone complains about the food budget, location and stuff... Ahaha... thank you so much, let's get marry when we are free ya! Ahaha... you're the only girl... erm... lady in my life that I can propose to whenever and wherever I want without a ring or kneeling down! Ahaha... You're my "Freelance Laopo"!

Ok, will continue with my CNY story after I feel better... Maybe like tomorrow... And then will write about my this last 20-n Birthday with presents photo ba... For now, let me have peace and calm my grudges... And maybe will buy myself a Birthday present to make me, myself happy... Haha...

My Chinese “牛” Year 2009 & More Life Flashbacks! Part 1

Main Label: Life Updates, Life Flashbacks

I thought I was going to have another usual, boring Chinese New Year (CNY)... But somehow something spiced it up and I eventually realized that I enjoy this season of celebration very much!

~ Spice #1. Very Committed into Spring Cleaning ~
I realized that this year I was very committed into the boring, tiresome, hard-work Spring Cleaning. The usual me is like that, the more I do and focus, the more I enjoy doing it. So the idea is to "keep the ball rolling". I have been cleaning a lot of stuff, both office and my big big house, but however, there are still a lot of stuff that I missed doing... Really got no choice, it will take a whole lot of time, maybe more than 1 month to clean everything thoroughly... To rate my own's hardwork, I am pretty satisfied with what I had done. XD And... Oops! I didn't do a list of all the tasks to do! Haha... Am so lazy...

~ Spice #2. My Cow-Bull-Ox Greetings / Well-Wishes ~

Before the New Year come, I already received and read many well wishes... Because it is a “牛” year, I found out that different people translate the animal differently, all I could remember in the past was, people always used "cow" as the translation. But this time round I saw people used "Bull" and some "Ox". That made me wonder... which is the correct translation. But of course, I know that they are all acceptable. Then somehow my mind started to play with the Chinese & English translation and stuff. Eventually, my "poem" was out! I think I am so "creative"! Haha... I especially like the part of "Oxpicious" (Auspicious) and "PrOxperOx" (Prosperous)! I feel so happy whenever I read the whole passage too! So happy~~! A sense of fulfillment in my heart. And it will usually made my day~! Ahaha...

~ Spice #3. “守岁” until 7am!
I think this is the first time that I could stay awake overnight for so long! 7am! Well... I was surfing the Internet... And this is really a good time-killer! Ahaha...

~ Spice #4. My "Long Lost" Friend Contacted Me! ~
Well... This is one very major spice... or rather, it was really a big surprise for me! So this part is going to be a very long story!

On the 3rd day of New Year， 年初三，I slept at about 11pm++, before I switched off my handphone, somehow I had an sudden idea that "maybe someone will call me". But still, I turned off my handphone and went to sleep... Indeed the next morning, after I switched on my mobile phone, I received message that telling me there's missed call from an unknown number. And there's another message from that unknown number saying:

"Hi, weilieh, happy Chinese New Year to u and ur family. This is my Malaysia line. Keep in contact! Samuel. God Bless."

For awhile, I was thinking who is this "Samuel"? Could this be a "wrong number". But no... this person could spell my name correctly and perfectly! I will think that it is "rare" for people to spell my name correctly, especially my "Lieh" has the extra and essential "H" at the end. So he is definitely someone I know and he is definitely someone who is very close to me. And really, I don't know many guys with the name Samuel, other than two... One is really an acquaintance who confirm don't have my contact number. And the other one is none other than my friend I knew since secondary school time... And indeed, it was him...

~ Secondary School Life Flashback ~
Ahaha... it brings back some memories now... Samuel (Sam) and his whole family are very special to me...

When I was in secondary school, during the 'O' Level year, I felt that my time was wasted in traveling to and fro Singapore and Malaysia, and also the jam and crowded Custom during peak hour. So I thought that I could stay in a Singapore friend's house, so that I will have more time for revision and homework. Sam, was also one of my band member-cum-friend. I forgot the reason why or how I had asked him whether I could stay in his house... I guess he was a very open guy ba... Indeed, one thing I realized about him was, and really amazed about him was, he never say "NO" to people... So I think that's how I gotta stayed in his house ba...

That time we were very close then. Because we stayed together, we do whole lot of things together... Go to school together, late together (grrr...), go back home together, play together, eat together, do homework together, torn overnight for rushing technical portfolio together, and even sleep together! Haha... Because he stayed in a small flat, with one of the rooms rented out. So he, his sister and I squeezed in one room together... We were really "that buddy" lor...

Back then, I was also very close to his family. I especially liked his mother and his Popo... I respected them a lot. They always took care of me and treated me as their own son / grandson. They cooked food for me and even gimme to drink chicken essence whenever we had to torn overnight for technical portfolio. Popo played mahjong with us and we loved playing mahjong!!! My parents passed me an amount of money and asked me to pass to Sam's family as a mean of "rental fees". But his mother refused to accept it when I offered to her. I was so touched and don't know what to do... I always think that I am indebted to this family with gratitude and appreciation. I remembered one time that my parents brought durians for this family! But after eating a lot, some of them fall sick... :( Felt so paiseh you know...

Oh! One of the most important things that we did together, was to go to church together. His elder sister, Mabel and himself were devoted Christians since then already. During Sunday, if I didn't go back to JB, I would go to their local church together. In a way, you could say that "he brought me to church". But actually the fact was that... That time I already "interested" or found curious about this religion called, Christian. So I was using this opportunity to go to church and get to know more, a little more about Christianity...

~ Hearing His Voice for the First Time ~
Oh... God... It really brought back some memories back then... It was the first time ever that I heard Your voice... You spoke to me with Your gentle, whispered voice, yet of which, still could resound / echo in my head now... I was lying on my bed that night, regretting to you, I said: "Oh God, I'm sorry that I cannot become a Christian now..." Then Your voice, not that inner voice... I really heard a gentle, whispered voice at that moment, right next to my ear... Though I spoke to You in English... You replied me with Chinese... You said... “不能就不能吧。。。” (meaning: cannot then cannot lor...) With that gentle, soothing voice, I was able to sleep at peace...

Maybe people could not really understand why would a God that response in this manner? Such answer can be perceived as being negative, and not so "biblical" way... Well... that's why God would never speak to you! Ahaha... throughout the years of experiences of being a Christian, one of the things that I realized about God is... Sometimes as He speaks, to you, He will not finish a long sentence, but instead, He will say something like... half of it?? And the rest of the sentence, or conversation is "said", or rather "transmitted" directly, immediately and without delays, into your heart... What God would trying to say to me at that moment, of course, which was understood to me perfectly or near-perfectly was something like this:

"I understand the reasons / barriers for you not being able to become a believer. It is okay. I know your heart and I know that now is not the time for your conversion yet. And that doesn't mean that you will not become a Christian in the future / for the rest of your life. Everything is under control... And for now... sleep..." You know? That's my God. :)

~ Life After 'O' Level ~
Ok. To summarize the rest of the flashback stories: After 'O' Level, I left Sam house and came back to my JB big house... And after that... we kind of "lost contact" to each other... But of course, not really lost contact lah... I found out that we happened to be at the same school again! And that was Nanyang Polytechnic... Though we took different courses and we could hardly met. And since then, I always wanted to afford some time to go back to his house and visit his family... But... too much things... that eventually until now I haven't got a time to go back to see them! So "no heart" right...

At that time, cell phones haven't be much popular yet for teenagers. But not long after, like after Poly life, I managed to get a cell phone and that's the "High peak of SMS-es time of my life"... Whatever stuff, I usually sms-ed friends... It was like an "in" thing to do. It was like a game that is "soooo fun" to play like that... haha... I remembered that was once I sms-cum-chat with 3 different friends and they were also sms-ed to one another like that! But now, I guess I am so "old" that I lazy to sms... Would rather call the person if he or she is available to talk... It is time wasting to wait for the reply and lazy to type lor...

So anyway, come back to the story... Through other band members, I managed to get his contact. So in this manner, we "found each other" again... I meant that, we were not in "lost contact" mode... Haha... Right after we got each other's phone number, we called and had a short conversation, or catching up... And after that... we "lost contact" again... aiyo... haha...

Oops... Still got a long way to go... Shall continue in a new entry...

That's right, to be continued...

Just Want To Give Another Long Update

Main Label: Life Update

Well, was "busy" again that I had not been updating this blog. XP The followings are what I wanted to say...

1. Asia Conference !!!
Yeah~! Now then talk about it... Was definitely glad that I use the whole of that Sunday for Asia Conference. I was late for the morning session, ended up sitting in the overflowing area. Then met CG for lunch and thought that got some free time after lunch, but nope. Nicole, Eliz, Meiyan and I went for the queue immediately after lunch. Well, we missed the lunch session with Dr. A.R. Bernard. The queue was long and squeeze-y, but not that boring though. Then finally able to sit in for the night session. Yang Yit (YY) and Ming Kai (MK) had chopped the seats for us. And then we had the Manhunt and Miss Pageant thing... I missed the result thing because I was queuing for the toilet! Yeah~! It was a rare scene that men's toilet needed a queue, long queue!

After I missed the result, it was finally the time for the final session for the Asia Conference! I was real glad that I stayed for this session. During the Praise & Worship, I realized that the lightings were so bright and beautiful! While singing the worship song, my mind was dreaming off of my wonderful idea of worshiping God; my mouth was singing, but my brain was dreaming. Then that's the time, somehow Holy Spirit made a "switch" on my head or something, suddenly my mind was like "opened" and immediately I came into the realm, the Presence of God where I could sing with heart touched and tears flowing down... The Presence of God was once again, strong~! I simply love this Presence of God.

Oh yeah~! I pre-ordered the Asia Conference DVD! Oh, btw, the Benny Hinn was a big news! and erm... a big topic for gossip too. Haha... Wonder how will I react if I was in the session... Some of my friends had concluded that the "certain part" by him will be "cut off", or taken out from the DVD... Sigh... That's the big difference between going to the Conference LIVE and watching the DVD. Duh...

2. The Stress of Building Fund: Money-not-enough... and no, not really.
The moment of pledging the Building Fund, is the moment of "full faith" and "full confidence" and "fully emotional" and etc. It was when my mind had calm down, had come back to once again the reality, that's when the moment I could feel the "stress" of giving money... :( I calculated the amount with the expectation that someone will return me the money owed. But he... delayed... That's the time, I was affected. Nevertheless, I did standby plan for such situation. I.e. converted my Ringgit Malaysia (RM) Savings into Singapore Dollar (SGD). But this is no joke! -- the exchange rate was a killer. I converted RM1,200 for only SGD500! Do you know how much Rm1,200 is? And do you know how little SGD500 is? I feel so stressed now... my friend commented that: "这样才可以感觉到痛／the pressure of Building Fund吗..." True lah... But still...

The truth is... until now, I had only fulfilled 1/3 of my November pledging... If the person didn't return me the money... I am gonna lose a lot of RM Savings! My heart is vomitting blood now! And now is the season of celebrations... Weddings, Birthdays and Christmas! I still spent some money for birthday gifts, wedding ang bao, birthday love offerings... Oh, the Asia Conference's offering, because it was meant for the poor and needy. I gave quite a blood-vomiting amount again~! And there's this Popular Mega Sales or something here in JB, I spend some money for DVD and books... Because, the sales was "so cheap!" Other than that, I still bought a lot of other DVD titles... One of it was the "十兄弟"!!! Hahaha... Erm... I actually like this series! Haha... oh, and forgetting not my medical report -- blood and urine test, and not to mention that I paid RM200 for the report that tells me bad news~~ :(

So Building fund and spending and spending... But somehow, the truth for now is, I still got some $$$ in my bank~! I am not that broke afterall... Haha... That's the "blessings of the Lord" I guess... I am not in lack I guess? But still again, I have not fulfilled my intended 75% of Building Fund for the first month! I really gotta stop spending whole lot of money and I really wanna make a big fullstop going to Singapore! Because that's my major spending area. Everything that was double cost to me because of the exchange rate... But what can I do? Now is December leh, an eventful month... Just realised that there's this Candlelight Service, and Christmas (and Eve) Service, both are different things... Really wanna go for these 2. And there's this Countdown and CG Appreciation at end of December... And I really don't wanna go for this... :( Passport's available pages are getting less... "Argh~~~!"

I feel heart pain... looking at my Bank's saving amount diminishing... I always wanted to save money... but everytime I saved some, it then come the Building Fund. My mind always think that "don't give too much." But when the "inspiration" or "confirmation" come, I left no other amount to give... I am not complaining about Building Fund. I know I had the choice of "to give, or not to give". And I chose to give. And the fact is, in my mind, I cannot imagine if I didn't commit for the building fund. It is plain empty. The moment I think that "if I don't participate for the building fund...", it is plain empty, nothing can continue after the phrase. And I can simply think nothing at all. That's one of the main reason, or drive (motivation) for me to commit for this building fund again, regardless of my faith situation, this is a significant reason / motivation.

I once told a friend of mine, and she pointed out that, "since your faith is not in the Lord already, why give to the building fund?" Well, I didn't tell her the perfect answer for this question, but it was stated in my previous statement: "I cannot imagine (anything) if I don't give to the building fund."

For now, what I am lack of doing is, to come out a plan and to calculate those $$$., including tithes matter as well. And also come out some backup plan or ideas like that... And also, really hope that I shall not spend so much for now. I really wish this... I really do not want to draw out $$$ from my Malaysia bank account liao. I wanna cry out loud~! *cry*

3. Lost of my precious (and maybe not so precious) Nintendo Dual Screen (NDS) Lite
Before blessings come in... I already lost something precious in the midst of this money spending season. I left my NDS after working out in the gym. *cry* I only realized it the moment I got home, parked my car, turned off the engine, then my mind became clear:"where is my NDS?" / "I don't think I brought back my NDS." The moment I came into the living room, I checked my bag. But that was the time, my mum talked to me and asked me, “二姐还没有去韩国啊，她刚刚打来。” Sorry, I lost my temper and raised my voice and answered, “我不懂！” This was the second time she asked me, she had asked me before in the day time. So my mind was thinking, "I really don't know, why you keep asking me. And you could tell me that she just called, why don't you ask her yourself?" So I was angry... because all I wanted to do that moment, was to search my bag for NDS. But the usual me... the moment I raised voice and replied, I already felt bad and regret...

Well, I couldn't find the NDS. So I called to the gym centre and had the person helped me. Think he was passionate to help too. But too bad, no good news. The next morning, I quickly went down to check again for myself, but no avail... :( So I here by announced that I had lost my bought-not-more-than-6-months-NDS-Lite. *cry out loud*~!

The guy who helped me was quite steady, he asked me not to worry and said that gotta wait for a few days... he was responsible for the "Lost & Found" records. And he told me that there were cases that stuff was lost and was found few days later... So I still got some hope lah...

Actually, the moment I knew that I lost the NDS, I wasn't that sad... One thing that I am not satisfied with the purchase of this NDS was, not long after the purchase I saw an article about a brand new model of NDS! To me, everytime is like that. The moment I bought certain gadget, that new version of gadget will come out not long after my purchase. My sis and I went to buy PSP that time was the same thing. We bought the fat PSP, and not long after, they came out the PSP Slim/Lite. We only found it "lucky"/"heng~ ar"/庆幸 is that, we bought the limited edition GOLD colour PSP. My sis always wanted black colour stuff, but luckily, we chose the gold colour PSP instead, otherwise, the fat PSP really got no value man!

So actually, the moment I knew that I lost the NDS, my mind was saying "nevermind, I can get a new one, the new model in the future." So it wasn't that bad afterall... It is only like “越想就越伤心” like that, "the more I think about it, the more I feel sad", then I began to feel so sad about it lor. But what can I do? I did all I could to try to find it back already... Ai... it was so new... not more than 6 months...

Actually, this was the second time that I lost the NDS. The first time was also in the gym... I realized that I lost it when I was in the locker room, so I immediately went back to the treadmills to look for it, an old uncle was using the machine that I used before. I went there to look for it. His body language was kind of rude, he was like "ooi", and pointed the NDS on the machine, and he seemed impatient... He was running then. But I felt such a relief and I thanked him. He didn't smile nor said anything. I took back my NDS and left... But this time... not that lucky anymore... I only realized it the moment I got home...

The usual me will do a feedback or study or reflect when bad things happened or I made a mistake... I figured out the reasons that contributed to the lost of NDS were as followed:-
1. The NDS was in black colour.
When I bought the NDS, the choices for nice colour aren't that much. White colour looks like iPod, other colours were like "erm..." like that. So I chose black colour in the end. But the colour was so easily "camouflage" to the machines like that. I tell you, if the colour was not in black, it could really help for me not to miss it or neglected it. But other colours are not that nice...

2. Too much gadgets and stuff.
I carry too many gadgets to gym, to go and do cardio... 1. Handphone, 2. MP3 player, 3. handheld game. My pockets are always full... Not only that, I also carried gloves, towel, locker keys... see? So many things.

3. Don't have a bag to carry everything
Actually, I did have a bag that I kept my gloves. But it was a little too small to keep those gadgets inside. so not enough space to put in games, handphone and MP3 player. I was thinking, if I could get myself a slightly bigger bag, big enough to keep those stuff, it will be good. But then, toooo late for now... :( It could have helped.

4. Have not getting used to go to gym
Well, this is another problem that linked to other stuff also. Until now, I have not been getting used my "working out" lifestyle. I always got distracted by something, that resulted I can only go to gym like once a week like that. I really feel frustrated at times.

5. My mind was not clear
Many stuff stuck in my head, many things that I wanted to "voice out", etc. etc. I wasn't focusing and stuff like that.

So all the point can only summarized into one word: "careless" ><:; My sis just said that I had given someone a Christmas present~! What a way to put it man~! Haha... Wonder who is the lucky guy/gal. Hah!

Dear God, I am not giving up the hope that I can still get back my NDS. I pray that the whoever is holding my NDS will return it to the Clark Hatch counter. However, if there is a purpose for my NDS to be gone, I pray that You will bless the person who is holding it. May it be a surprise from You, let it be his/her Christmas gift like my sis said. If, my NDS can help the person by any ways, or can change his/her life even the slightest manner, I am most willingly to let it happen! God, I am not a hypocrite here to tell You that I don't want Your blessings~! Of course I wanted those blessings~! God, I pray that as I give upon the building fund, please had my blessings back "real soon"! Haha... God You know that I got so many more things to buy and I wanted them badly. God, You never fail to surprise me with new ways. I am here waiting for your surprises again, surprise me! Oh God. Thank You. With name of Jesus, Amen~! Haha...

Church & Stuff Final Episode -- Just Wanna End This Series...

Main Label: Life Update | God & Spirituality | Somewhat Dramatic Life

Hmmm... actually after the Arise & Build 2008 Pledge Day, I had no "desire" to write about it anymore... But I am still writing here just to end this story lor...

Should I say? Pastor Kong's sermon was once again... astonishing~! He lead his sermon to the climax by preaching about "Unusual Response" which was indeed, very daring, risky and also astonished! Nevertheless, because it was the pledging moment, the atmosphere, or the Presence of God was so tense and sensitive that no one would want to disturb or interrupt such moment...

In the beginning of the sermon, he talked about "manifestation" and its highest form, i.e. "Word became flesh" (John 1:14). I was much inspired again because I had never know that "Word became flesh" could have such revelations... Then he stated this:

"It is immoral to put a creature in an environment contrary to its basic nature"

Ps. Kong (02/11/08)

That statement was critical but to me, it was debatable... Anyways, he talked to us about "how to turn word into flesh?" and that's the time, he brought up the "unusual response" message! Oh man~! Once again, I never thought of that too! However, like I said such message was quite risky because "unusual" can be both ways, positive and negative manner. However again, like I said, the Presence of God and the atmosphere was filled with awe and seriousness, though the message could be risky, God was there to "make sure everything gonna be alright". God was there to touch people's heart and desire and stuff. There would have no "spirit of objection" at that moment...

"For every biblical manifestation, there is always first and unusual response."

Ps. Kong (02/11/08)

That was his another excellent revelation. At near end. Pastor also mentioned that "unusual response" was the key to change your usual, routine, unchanging life style or cycle. It is the key to breakthrough! (Breakthrough means "sudden burst of power that takes you from previous point to the next level.") And by that, he brought us onto the very moment of pledging!

~ My Unusual Response ~ | ~ Somewhat Dramatic ~
Ahaha... LOL... Sometimes, I really find it funny how sermons can be so relevant with my current life like that... Pastor talked about "unusual response" which was really an unusual sermon as well... But to my surprise, I also got my very own "unusual response" too... Haha...

First Unusual: Pledge pattern. This was my fourth Building Fund ever since I was in this Church. My first three Building Funds, I pledge in the usual pattern of giving monthly over a period of six month. Mostly, the amount was divided equally over that six months. Meaning, I gave an equal amount every month until the end of the Arise & Build. But this time round, like some weeks ago, I had already decided to give in an "unusual" way. Actually, I wanted to try to give all at once, without spreading the amount for the six months period. This idea of giving was influenced by my decision to "leave Church"... As wanting not to come so often, so I don't want to "give so frequent" also mah... Haha... But it ended up "unusual" lor which was so "in line" with the sermon. Haha... In addition, I decided to give more... so I had decided to give additional amount at the last month of the Building Fund. And that's how I got the pledge pattern: "75% for first month, remaining 25% at last month". And in between, no giving. But actually, I will finish the 25% the moment I got the amount, so no need to wait for last month actually...

Second Unusual: Not much tearing this time round... But instead, during the whole Service, I could feel that I was "trembling" all the time! Especially towards the end of the Service... or the climax atmosphere... This was very unusual to me... I thought I am gonna to cry, but actually I personally knew that I was controlling my tears lah... The intense of His Presence made the whole atmosphere very sensitive... I knew that I could burst into tears easily... The trembling of my heart could tell that... But I was controlling... until the worship songs started, my tears flowed... But with my control, I didn't weep so bitterly that kind, only tears and a little bit of "crying out loud"...

Then I Holy Spirit was like telling me this (in Chinese) “要哭就哭啦。。。” (If you want to cry, then carry on crying...) After hearing that, I wanted to cry out loud, but the "climax" had gone, so I couldn't cry a lot like nobody's business... However one thing that I realized, and couldn't help to say that this is quite relevant... That "the closer you are to the stage, the stronger the Presence of God is". I find it quite true... In the week before this Service, I sat nearer to the stage, floor area, and I cried non-stop! I wanted to stop, I ask God to stop it, but He didn't heed my words... So all I could do, is crying in the Presence of God, in other words too, in His embrace... But last Service, I was sitting in the terrace side, but I could control the tears... just wondering whether this was really got to do with the distance between myself and the center stage...?

Anyways, such crying was like, the "Third Unusual" thing to me... Because I "cried in advance"... before the actual pledge day... To add, after the weeping during Service, the next day, I cried bitterly too while I was driving. (This part of story was written in much details in the Episode 4.) And this was indeed unusual to me. In conclusion, I was thinking, maybe God wants me to response in this way ba...

~ One Thing ~
Pastor had us to simply and only write down one thing at the back fold of the offering envelope... I wrote of course... one thing... one of my life thing... I've thought many things... Indeed, "writing one thing" was obviously not enough... So my mind was thinking, prioritizing and in the end... only that one word became very impressive, all my mind was giving credit to push that word into the top priority... At the moment, this was the only thing I could think of... I was thinking, indeed, this could at the end of the day, help to solve many other questions and problems in my life... I really needed that as I thought... so I wrote: "one thing: Mxxxxxxx"! Well, was kind of embarrass (paiseh) to write it down now... But then later I realized that I was too general with the keyword... Should have be more specific... sigh... God I pray that You know what I want, what I mean. And I know that You will always give me the best answer for me, like You always do. Thank Ya~! In Jesus' name. Amen~! Haha... Thank You God.

~ Usher's Nature ~ | ~ Phyllis' Unusual Response ~
Hmmm... Really thank God that I was still doing usher work eventhough I was not an official usher already... In the morning, I help a friend, Carol Chin Huili actually, to bring her to Church. She called and asked me whether I could go to her house and fetch her, when she found out that I was going into Singapore on Saturday night... Because she just had her leg surgery and she wanted to go to Service to write down the pledge card. She told me while I drove to Church that this time round, she really could feel the "excitement" of pledging and giving to Building Fund regardless her previous number of times of Building Funds... And she said the she was so excited that she couldn't sleep~! And the end result was... I gotta give her morning call!!! *... ... ...* Maybe she gave excuses~! Haha... Joking lah, Chin Huili, don't scold me~~!

After she treated me a drive-through MacDonald breakfast with carpark fees SGD2.60 per entry (on Sunday), we headed to Singapore Expo, driving in from the "back entrance". And this was my first usher work for that day...

Phyllis (Feili) also came to the Service from JB. She was so busy most of the time partly because of her 万香城 Restaurant. But she made an effort to come for today lor... And made the commitment in the Building Fund as well... But she was kind of slow in writing... she sat next to me, while passing the offering bucket, she was still writing something on the envelope... I wanted to wait for her, but... after some waiting, I guess others couldn't wait too, so I gotta pass the offering bucket passing-by her... Felt bad...

Pastor wanted all the offerings (and buckets) to be brought to the stage by ushers because he wanted to pray for it. I think this is very important for those... our offerings and pledge cards to be brought to stage and be prayed about. But Feili's offering envelope was still with her... Just as others... most buckets had reached the stage, I realized that Feili had finished writing hers. With the kind of "usher's nature" and of course, "the attitude of CHC's Usher", I asked her to gimme her offering envelope and helped her to pass to the stage... Well, I thought I could do it... I passed to a security, but he "rejected" me... Just as I wanted to go back to seat, an usher stopped me and pointed to another usher who was having a piled up buckets of offerings! I was released with a gratitude to God, "Thank God!" So I put the envelope into the top bucket and had the usher went to the stage! Haha... "Thank God!" I guessed... that was Feili's "unusual response" afterall... Erm... unusual way of giving offering... Well, she was much different from those who had the usual way of putting offering envelope what... Haha...

~ Lieh-Not-Enough ~
That Sunday, I met 3 different groups of friends... In the morning, I fetched Carol Chin Huili. After Service, helped Mami (Elyn) to buy her "This is Our God" Hillsongs DVD/CD. Then went to River Valley Road to meet CG for lunch. I was a "little" lost way during the journey. And I thought that the place they wanted to go was in front of the Great World City... Only later to realise that it was the 5 Stars Chicken Rice in River Valley Road! Man~! That was one of my favourite food! Of course I knew where it is... After the lunch, I drove back to Carol's house, because I was carrying her chair in my car! Haha... I thought that "just in case we needed it", so I decided to bring her chair along... The chair served as wheelchair for her... She now can't live without it! So must bring back for her. And I don't want to drive around with the chair too! Haha...

After that, met another friend for movie. We watched "The Coffin"... Erm, not really a horror movie, but got a message to tell... Kind of find it funny when Karen Mok said: "I don't want to disturb the wheel." Well, don't feel like telling the movie here and give anymore comments...

Then I went back to JB. Oh... there was a little traffic jam... Anyways, I once again had the "Lieh-not-enough" feeling again... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh again! On Saturday night, I met my sis, Finn actually. We went to her friend's Birthday party. She was invited to cut cake together, because her Birthday was near to her friend. After that, we met another group of her friends... She wanted me to go with her for a lunch on Sunday with her other group of friends, because they wanted to celebrate her Birthday as well. But I rejected her, because I could meet others... At home, my lovely Papa wanted to "chop tree", he had "hinted" us, but too late, I already decided to go to Singapore on Saturday night. What's more, that Sunday's Service was very very important to me! I am so sorry that I gotta forego helping Papa to chop tree... :(

Feel like time not enough, thereby resulting love not enough, effort not enough... On Sunday, certain part of my time was used for driving / transportation too... I figured, recently I had attended the Sunday Services consecutively about 4 times (that makes a month), because of the Building Fund, and I already felt so tired... :( I thought I am not gonna come back next week. But my Poly friends just organized a dinner on the coming Sunday because we got 2 friends' Birthdays to celebrate, although their Birthday had just over... 2nd and 3rd week of October. That time, Minnie, who is also the organizer / initiator of this dinner, had her Psychology course examination. So she couldn't make it to meet up. And she is organizing this dinner now lor, after her exam... So this week, will come into Singapore again...

Then soon... the Church's very own Asia Conference 2008 is coming on the way... From 19th to 23 November. For more details: click here. Guess I can only go for Sunday one... On 22nd November, Saturday night, gonna attend a good friend's wedding dinner... Feel so desired and interested for the Asia Conference, but the timing and venue is not suitable for me. But afterall, I wanted to cut down my commitment in Church too... Then again, I could wait for the CD or DVD for Asia Conference to be published... But again... it gonna cost a lot~! Definitely 3 digits pricing! Hai...

Oh and there's Christmas in December... then, that's... New Year... ... ... Really ain't exciting for gaining one year older leh... Sigh... Year end, October, November and December is always busy for me... Good friends' Birthday all lie in these months... Money not enough ah... Birthday blessings, Wedding blessings, Building Fund commitment, other expenses... And there is a new PSP model coming out~! PSP-3000~!!! It has this accessory called Go!Explore, which is simply a GPS Receiver attachment! I wanted it too~! So that I won't go lost in Singapore again~! Haha...

Wanted to write more... But that's long liao... With much loves and excitement...

Church & Stuff Episode 4 -- And It Has To Be That Accurate

Main Label: Life Update

Attended the Service this Sunday... My usual CG went to the Saturday Service actually. And it turned out that Wendy,- my CGL, came along with Adelle,- a new friend of N333, David and myself, a total of 4 person attended the Service. I found the seats on floor area again, quite near to the stage actually... It was right behind the Deaf-Ministry area...

To my surprise... Pastor Kong's sermon was "critical" again!

Side track: In fact, most of the time, the sermons from Pastors are very critical to me, as in, the message speaks like directly to me like that! This "phenomenon" occurred to me even when I attended a neighborhood Church when I was in Secondary School... It is like, when I have a particular question in my mind, the next sermon that I am going to listen, will somehow answer that specific question of mine. It is not like... I got lots of questions & doubts, so much that you anyhow say anything, answer anything you will definitely hit one spot like that. It is like God answers the very, specific question of my heart like that... Don't really know how to describe it in an easily understood manner... For example, I was thinking what is sin... then the Service sermon will say something about it, whether it is the main topic, or it is just one point of the sermon like that lor...

OK. Come back to the story... About the sermon... Pastor Kong talked about the CHC-DNA again. He pointed out that the DNA was founded... the DNA's 3 foundational pillars are: (1) the Great Commandment, (2) the Great Commission, and (3) the Cultural Mandate (Kristo Kai Kosmos). The very first point he pointed made me feels that I don't have the DNA afterall... :( However, the Holy Spirit was like telling, "do not judge so early..." In fact, as I listened along, I could still "qualify" myself having that DNA. Ahaha...

~ About the Sermon ~
As Pastor talked about "how Unchurch / "Unchristian" think about the Church?", a research survey regarding that topic, my heart burned, was boiling, and my tear almost ran down, especially he talked about those traditional, former mindset of Christianity from those old spiritual leader... Seriously to say, I personally do not have any bad experience with any "old" mindset Christian, but whenever I think about how their behaviours and stuff had "scared off" people to come to Church, I will be very angry... These people are really like the Pharisees and Scribes in the time of Jesus... I don't know why, whenever I think about such people and eventhough I personally don't know any of such people, I got a strong angry feeling towards them. And every time it is God / Jesus who calm me down...

~ Movie - Finn's Girl ~
I just watched a movie call, Finn's Girl. I bought it because it has my sis's name on it, Finn. So was much interested about this movie. In this movie, the main lead, i.e. Finn had an abortion clinic, and in front of her clinic, got these Christian couple who setup banners saying stuff like, Baby-Killer, Jesus hates abortions and stuff. To my surprise, they even called her house and said this: "Stop killing babies! God will punish you!" And it so happened that it was Finn's 11 years old daughter answered the call and she was definitely scared! But the best part is, Finn was protected by police because there were people wanted to assassin her! In fact, she was gun-shot 2 times in the movie, but she was alright eventually. The movie didn't tell who was behind this assassination, but accordingly, it seems like it was those "Christians" lor...

At some point of my life, I was thinking, why there were Anti-Christians or Anti-Christ. I mean Jesus is sooo good that why would people rather reject Him, His Love, His sacrifice and stuff? Will it not be good just to have "one more friend" in your life? Why people are so skeptical about Jesus? What is so wrong with Jesus that people gotta reject Him? Then I pointed my judgment towards these people... these Christians, or so-called Christians... They were the ones who had shaped the religion call Christian / Christianity. They setup many things to judge people, and judge in the name of Jesus. I think that they are the main culprits for stopping people going to Churches~! To the extend, I would rather say they are the real Anti-Christ! Because they use their own righteousness to shield people away from their Jesus!

But anyways, the above paragraph is rather "raw" or draft... I somehow couldn't get the inspiration to write it perfectly... I need some more thoughts for that... anyways, this is not the point I want to make here... so continue my main story... Haha...

~ Back to "About the Sermon" ~
Then later Pastor talked about something like a visitor commented about the twin girls, he mentioned something like "kiddie porn" (is that the correct spelling?? Cos I didn't know about such things too... Haha...) And then Pastor said that a verse was reminded to him, "to the pure, all things are pure." The exact verse is like this:

"To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled."

Titus 1:15 (NKJV)

The moment Pastor said that, my heart burned with that burning desire again, it was like my heart was boiling, and tears started to flow... But I stopped it immediately... I really don't know the very reason why I teared, there were many things in my mind... Indeed, they are many things running in my head. But I just don't know whether the tears were sad, for injustice, for my own weakness, etc. etc.? I don't know. But all I know is, these words brought me to a climax in my heart...

~ I Guess I Couldn't Wait to Cry, So I Cry Now Lor... ~
That's the 2 parts in the Sermon that touched me greatly - 1. traditional Church mindset and 2. to the pure all things are pure... Then at the near-end of the Service, Pastor had us gave the offering, I didn't give much, only some coins... Like 4 dollars... In fact, I prepared those coins one because I knew that I don't have small change, but only 1 fifty dollars note. XP After the offering, when we started to stand up and sing the worship song again... the moment I stood up and wanted to start singing, that's the time I started weeping instead... It was non-controllable, and in fact, I didn't know the reason for this weeping... I really don't want to cry... I told God, "God please stop this, I don't want~!" But God just "ignored me". Though this was not the first time that I wept like that during Service, sometimes I would think that this is so embarrassing...

I asked God to stop but He didn't, and I personally could not stop the tears, so I might as well "enjoying" the moment lor... haha... My mind was "quite empty" while I cried, so I was thinking, what should I think now? Immediately, I thought of something... so I simply told God / Jesus, "God, I miss you... I really love you..." something like that to "incorporate" with my tears, my weeping... Haha... So I cried until Pastor asked us to join hands with others to pray... and the Service ... ... ended...

After the incident, I thought that, "I couldn't wait for the next Sunday to cry... so I cry today~~~" Haha... And it takes awhile for my heart to 'settle" down again...

~ I Guess I Really Cannot Accept Other Churches Other Than (Singapore) CHC Liao... ~
One thing about Pastor and his sermon... Are really powerful and ciritical to me... It was like the "meat" stuff for my spiritual food. His sermon and his viewpoints are rather "mature" for me, more than enough for me to think more than twice for his every sermon. And sometimes I couldn't help to have this mentality: "we (Pastor Kong and I) thought the same." or "My thought exactly" like that... At one point during the sermon, I was so desired to come back to this Church to listen to his sermon like that... But, I still got valid reasons for "leaving this Church"...

Another revelation that I have is... It is really true to me that not every Church "qualify" for me to go to... Last time, I tried the CHC JB Church, but the sermon... the Church is too "young" that it does not suit me... "Young" not only the congregation's age, but also the Church is at the stage of "start up". That's why, I would still prefer to come to Singapore's CHC, with Pastor Kong being the preacher... Sometimes, Pastor Kong is so busy that we seldom see him preaching... Though other Pastors can preach very good, real good, I would still prefer Pastor Kong, or "miss" him instead. He is really somebody lor... The way he preaches reflects his confident and faith towards God...

At some point of the sermon, he said that someone wants to "support" him. And he immediately said "with or without your support, I will still go on preaching! I stand up here preaching the truth, is not to gain your support!" Wow... and I was like thinking... "Oh Pastor, come on, people are just being nice to say "I support you" lah... You don't have to say until like that lor..." Haha... However, nevertheless, I do learned something about this statement of his... As long as it is your purpose in life, you gotta do it no matter whether you will fail or succeed... That statement became clearer in my heart, just as Pastor made his stand...

OK, to say again... Really, "switching Church" is not really the solution for my situation. I couldn't imagine how will all other the preachers preach especially you have tasted Pastor Kong's. I couldn't imagine what will those praise and worship of other churhes be like? Will I enjoy those just as I enjoy CHC's??? Oh God... Do I really have to go and look for other churches in JB??? Unless there are really purposes for me to go in lor...

~ About the Pledge Confirmation ~
Oh, at one point of the Service / Sermon, I already told God that the amount to pledge had confirmed, please do not let me have other confusions. Please do not confuse me anymore, I am not going to think about the amount to pledge during the week. And I thank You for the amount confirmed. And with silent nodding, God was like telling me, "Okie, noted."

So in the end... ... ... I didn't double the amount... I don't really have the "peace" or "confirmation" to double it... I do have the amount available... But somehow I was reminded that those amount are "untouchable" due to certain determination / decision or factors. God was like telling me, "have you not told Me that you don't want to give Me those amount because they were given from your family? Because it can be easily found out if you spend those money. And your Papa had "warned" you not to "anyhow" spend the amount." And I was like "oh yah hor..." Haha... So in the end, still the same old "confirmation" as the previous week. This is the pattern I am going to give this time round: First month, November: 75% of the pledge. Then "rest, rest, rest" until the last month, i.e. April: the remaining 25%. And when it is possible, I will fulfill the amount even before Apirl come, i.e. to give as long I got the 25%. My mind has set up for it already. I really don't want any confusions again... Thank you.

Oh... so long already... and I haven't finished writing... should I continue?? Ok I should. Haha...

After the Service Wendy, Adelle and I went to eat Botak John at Bedok North. It turned out that I was the only one who ordered Botak John! I thought maybe the portions were too big for the 2 ladies ba... and I didn't think about that before. After the luch, I met my sis, Finn and we went to find ２姐 together and to see her lovely children. Our initial plan was to watch "High School Musical 3" with the elderst niece, as a mean to accompany her after her PSLE. But she "dua" us, she wanted to go swimming with her siblings instead. So the ２姐 family went for swimming while Finn and I headed for our backup plan, i.e. meet her friend, Axelle instead. We then went to Ang Mo Kio Hub to buy game - Patapon (that's how I got the pata pata pata pon * pon pon pata pon) and fetch Axelle to her wedding dinner at Mandai. And that night, I stayed overnight at Finn's house, because Monday was a public holiday -- Deepavali. At first, I thought I gotta work, but later I was told that I got the holiday too... Haha... My sis's friends and I played mahjong overnight~~ Haha... But it was a rather not-so-exiciting mahjong session... Nevertheless, we were still enjoying... Then before fetching Axelle back to home, we went to Geylang to have supper! Wow... haha...

I slept like about 4am or later... the next day I woke up, and decided to meet a friend for movie. So I said goodbye to sis and drove to the destination... And finally, that's the time I could find myself alone and thereby giving myself sometimes to ponder, to think about Sunday's crying... I was thinking about the whole thing... I was thinking about writing it in the blog... I was thinking and at the same time, talking to God... As I talked and thought, tears started to flow down again... The tear flowed down gently in the beginning... But as I thought more, and the moment I thought and told God that, "God, this is the amount I can give to you. It is not much, it is really not much to do great things with such little amount of money. God please take it, use it for Your kingdom. I am sorry that I can only give that much..." Then I started crying out loud instead! And I was driving... And I was reminded, the very first time that I wept like that while driving was when my Mama was warded into Intensive Care Unit (ICU)(加护病房) like many years ago... I thought that was the only time I would "weep and drive" at the same time... But now, I had it again... I was telling God, "God I am driving leh, please stop the tear..." But Thank-God-ly, because I got the "previous experience" I could drive safely lah...

It is just that... I don't know why I will cry until like that... I do admit that "I love to weep in the Presence of God", but somehow when I got it, I will be like "erm... what the heaven am I doing? Why I can cry until like that???" I could still remember last year's pledging day, I told God the same thing, "God, this isn't much of money, and I could only give you such. Please accept them... I am sorry that I cannot give you a lot, please forgive me..." something like that, then I could start crying like nobody's business liao... It is the same this time... the attitude of giving is still the same...

Oh, I could feel the "feeling" again right now... And I think I still got many things to say... But still, I think this would be enough liao... Still got many things to say, but that would be enough liao... Oh~! I actually typed that 2 times!! Then I guess I really gotta stop here liao. Wish to write more... wish to type a letter address to God... But I guess, maybe next Episode ba...

With Loves...