Lieh Not Enough~! (Par 7) -- L.I.E.H cHange thE WorLd~!

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

Haha... Obviously the concept of the picture cames from the movie, "L - Change the World", side story of "Death Note". These two are the original pictures I've found in the web:

Hmmm... Should I say the copyright thing?? "I do not own the 2 pictures above...

Needless to say, I love this story, "Death Note" and of course, the character, L. I am always attracted to wisdom and stuff, I love to think and think hard, think all sort of things, and sometimes you can say that I 走火入魔 (think until mind goes haywire)~! Haha... Nevertheless, I still like it that way... You can't stop me from thinking and talking nonsense, you know~ Haha...

Anyways, it is the title of the movie that makes me thinking... "What change(s) the world?", or "What can change the world?" Before answering that, 2 other important questions must be answered also: (1) "What needs to be changed (actually)?" (2) "What is the direction for the change?" For Q2, I mean that what do you want to achieve, what is your goal? When you have the answers for the 2 questions, then it should not be difficult to answer "what change the world?', right?

Another way of Analyzing the question of "What change the world?", is first by knowing the Current World Setting (CWS), oops, another new acronym from me~! Haha... The CWS can be further found out by asking this question: "What shape the world?" Yeah~! This is what I want to say actually lah... "What shape the world?" Because I had created a quote for that, and I'd put it in my MSN status once:-

"Do you know what shape(s) the world? But before answering that, do you know what is the shape of the world?"

And I further answered the question myself, or rather "teasing" the question, by saying:

"We live in a round round world, so we goes on round and round and round..."

Yeah~! That's me~! I like to play with words, be it Chinese or English, though I am not so good with languages.

"Shape" is another word of saying what has already been changed. Because a shape is an already-formed outline; it is there already; it has been shaped; It is not unformed or unshaped. Though certain shapes are not visible easily with the eyes, it does not necessary mean that the shape is not there. And I am implying this theory into our world. That's why, "what shape(s) the world?" is actually questions about the world, such as "what influence(s) this world?" "What are the major 'stakeholders' (is that a right word to use here?) in the world?" "What has caused our world today? Our cultures, our lifestyle, our belief system, and etc. stuff?" And the questions goes on... Rationally, in order to answer them, the first step is to list down, to identify those "points" individually, and that is the question "what is the shape of our world?" ! !

One of the most basic shapes that we ever learned, is round shape, or circle. In fact, the Earth we live on is a sphere, in 2D, it is a circle! So we live in a round world, or round round world (if you're Chinese like me, you usually will say it 2 times.) The Earth revolves around the Sun in a circle pattern. That is Astronomy, that is Science. What about our lifestyle? Yes, it is repeatable, it repeats around our History. We usually say it this way: "History repeats itself" (历史重演）. And when things repeat repeatedly (running out of words to describe), ok, when things keeps on repeating, it becomes a cycle. Do I need to tell you that there are many cycles in the world? So, we do live in a round round world, or rather round round round round ... ... ... ... (round x n) ... ... ... ... world... And if you sit in front of a monitor, working all days or blogging all days like me, your tummy gonna turn round round too~! Haha...

Oh! Just realised that I haven't come into the main course! My name, Lieh, the acronym of Lieh. And how it can change the world blah blah blah... ok, I will say it now...

I purposely give my name an acronym for ... ... ... fun~! Haha... That's why I do what. Haha... ok, but really, to give a purpose or meaning to it, so that I can live my life to it... Something that I treasure, and also something that can speak of me, because it is my name, right? Also something that I want to achieve in my life... I had thought a lot for it, looking for the "best fit" and "best mix" for the 4 letter words, -- LIEH. Indeed, I had chosen the most difficult values that is more than enough for my whole life to run after, to achieve, and to maintain...:-

L - Love, no doubt.
I - Integrity, very difficult, you say it.
E - Erm... Excellency, to be frank, I rather Enjoy
H - Humility, a real "tricky" value.

Hmmm... it gonna be extremely long again if I am to going through each point in detailsss. I guess I will briefly say about how such values can change the current world only ba...

Love. - Like I say, no doubt. (Eh... I don't mean that the definition of love means have no doubt, I am saying that "no doubt that love is one the most treasured, important, critical values in our world.) If everyone in the world has love, knows how to love, and knows how to love effectively, the world would have like, 90% of the problems gone, "Whoosh!"

Integrity - it is always easy to live a life without integrity, really~! And I am saying that. It helps a lot to achieve short term goals... But a life without integrity, it will spoils you in the long long run of your life journey, especially when storm of life comes and hits... or when you ran out of your lies... that's the time you face Integrity. That's the time you will realize how precious it is, the Integrity. To me, Integrity is like a solid rock, or firm soils the Bible and Jesus is talking about. And that's why Chinese has such idiom: “脚踏实地” which when translated it says: standing on the firm ground. The definition means to live a life of integrity， such as honesty, truthfulness and earnest. Integrity, is like a foundation of your life, if you have it, it won't collapse when the Earth is shaking. If you don't, well, your life collapse in your very eye... You can only hope for the "peaceful" life in order for your lies and fancy stories not to be exposed.

Oh, another main thing about Integrity is that... The world usually seek this in the field of $$$, - Finance. Another thing that makes the world round is money. "Money makes the world go round", have you not heard? When everyone has integrity over his own $$$ and other people's $$$, the whole world's $$$ issues or problems will go like this: "Whoosh!" Indeed, the value of Integrity is priceless~!

Excellency - the quality of your service, the quality of your life, ... ... ... the quality of your everything, revolve around this value, Excellency. Jesus' parable of "going for the extra mile" speaks of the quality of service you can ever provide for the people (like customers), and it is also the key towards your business /career excellency. When everyone has a heart of going towards excellency, in that journey, they will discover their fullest potential also, there by unleashing the 100% purpose of your life, living the best and very best out of your very own life, your life will have no regrets, I tell you.

Humility - I had personal interesting encounter with God regarding this, it is as if Jesus Himself came down and washed my leg, just like the Bible story. After the extremely touching event with Jesus, I would boldly declared that who is this Jesus that I am talking about. From that moment onwards, I can forgive people easily and I will try my best to be as humble as possible. Though at times, I like to "show off" lah, but that's not the pride issue here.

Humility is important... when everyone throws away their pride, the sinful pride, or the self-centered pride I mean of course, human relationships with one another will be like no more barrier, people will love one another in a much better way, thereby increasing the value / quality of love as well. :)

All such values are also associated with other values as well... Such as Love, which is also the greatest of all values, definitely links with whole lot of other values, like caring, edifying, encouraging, sacrifice, commitment, creativity etc. Integrity is associated with trust, truthfulness, security, and stuff. Excellency, can also relate to creativity, and all other values that stands out for the purpose of improving and excelling a business. Indeed,

"there is no success business, but only success people (if "people" is what you want to say) or success system (of course, all successful system is developed by human beings, if not the God, if not... ... ... the devil, you say it.)"

Therefore Excellency is definitely associated with unleashing potential, talents and stuff. Also forgetting not the word "believe", why? In order to unleash your potential, you gotta "believe yourself" right? Yah... and so when "belief" comes in, the "faith" factor also comes in. Excellency itself, is never alone. You cannot say I want to excel, I want to be excellent. Well, you gotta have a direction (or a goal) you can excel in, for example, you say, "I want to excel in my career." And that's more like it, yah?

Lastly, Humility is greatly linked with the value, "Greatness". I got such revelation from the Bible, though Pastor preached about it also, and he used the word "Servanthood" to illustrate.

Heh heh... if you're reading, thank you for reading. Will give more details of my value system in the next blogs ya~! Stay on. Mean while, please help me to live a life, to be the person with those values that I treasure and wanted to achieve. With much loves and appreciation, THANKZ~!

Critical Life Updates!

Main Label: Life Update

Oh no... It has been more than a month that I didn't blog~! So lazy... why? Not that something bad had happened to me; not that I ran out of stuff to blog; But rather the opposite, I had been sooo happily playing my favourite game, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift (and yes, the full name of the game is that long) that I neglected my blog world and always dwelt in the land of Ivalice, the world where the game is set on. Only until now that I have finished much of the game, and so I decided to blog now... Haha...

Where do I get the inspiration of this blog's title, i.e. "Critical Life Updates!" Well, it is from the Norton Anti-Virus software. This program will warn you to run "LiveUpdate" if you haven't been doing it. And it warns you with words like "Critical LiveUpdate required". How true this is for my blog too... I had even skipped blogging in the beautiful date like 080808, which was also the opening of Beijing Olympic, and oh no... the whole of Olympic I also didn't blog!!! But anyways, not that I got lots of stuff to write about Olympic. Nevertheless, the opening and ending ceremonials were still marvelous and grand and beautiful and inspiring. It definitely worth everybody's time watching man~! Well, it had ended like 2 to 3 weeks ago liao... Another beautiful date in August that I like is August 28. I wanted to blog on this day but still... ... ... I had nothing memorable happened on this day in my history but I always wanted to make that date memorable in my future, maybe my ROM date... Haha...

So why so special about August 28? This is where one of my favourite verses in the Bible lies...

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

There was one moment of my down-time life, this verse kept running in my head until I decided to memorise it and that was the time when the Service's sermon was about this verse too! Anyways, since then I can recite this verse perfectly and it always encourages me whenever and wherever I feel downs or ups! To add, there is another "coincident" about this number 8:28. I usually leave for work at about 8am, and will fetch my workers (who are my relatives also) in the bustop before we head to work. Sometimes I gotta wait for them as the bus timings are random. By the time we reach our factory, it is usually about 8.30am. Most of the time, when I look at the clock in my car or on my office desk, they usually read "8:28"! And everytime I see that, it reminds me of the verse. I am not saying that this happens like 100%, but you can say that it happens like maybe 90%? Anyways, that's my relationship with 8:28. :D

Like I always mention, I really got a lot of stuff to write down, a lot of my life stories as well as my imaginery stories to tell. But I until now I haven't been blogging much... and interesting stories of my life just keep on happening~! Not that my life is dynamic and absolutely dramatic, but still, I do have some interesting things happen in my life once in a while like that. The followings are the random thoughts that I wanted to blog but finds it "no time" to do it ever since I started this blog early this year. Yah, the time is that long...

(1). Feeling with a girl!? - "I'm in Love"~~!?
This is one of the "top priority" I wanted to mention. I did share with some of my best friends. And this story gotta link with my "fate" and "destiny" thing, whereby it also links to the time my mum and 三姐 brought me to 算命！Well, the 师傅's analysis are quite relevant~! Especially about my 姻缘... And that's one of the stories in my life that I find it somewhat dramatic lor... Can shoot into movie one...

(2). More about myself.
There are a lot more that I can write about myself. And this is in my original plan for the sequence of my early blog entries. I wanted to write everything about myself before I started my somewhat dramatic life stories. But because I seldom blog and those interesting stories just keep coming until I "cannot catch up with"! Haha~~ One of the top-desirable topic about myself that I always wanted to write is what I called it "A Typical Piscean". Yes, though maybe as a Christian, one who believes in Jesus Christ are not suppose to believe horoscope, I still find the star sign Pisces really suits me completely, if not 90%. Everytime I read those horoscope articles either from forwarded mails, some websites or some Facebook applications, what they says about Pisces's characteristics and personalities are like 90% accurate to me. Too accurate that I couldn't help but to nod head and agree with absolute amazing. Most recently, I read one in a forum, the way the style it writes about Pisces is really really "hit the spot" like that. As if no one has ever analyses it so so accurate! I don't know how to describe the feeling... All I can say that the article is much more accurate and critical than those I read before~!

Another thing that I wanna write about myself is also the experience or encounter with 算命师傅. Because for the things he had said about me... And when it is "About Me", of course the "love" factor or matter also must come in. And this is linked with the point #1 above. Argh... I must write this in Chinese! This is about my “理性与感性。。。” “双鱼儿的其中一个特征就是超理性与超感性的结合体。一方面，鱼儿喜欢思想，其实是过于的思想，导致“想太多”，这是它的“超理性”。而另一方面，鱼儿又是“超感性”的，很敏感（Sensitive)，很有同情心，又喜欢幻想，常常就是躲在自己的幻想世界里等等。这种理性与感性的结合体，就算喜欢上别人，即使感性的一面会全全付出，但是付出到一定的阶段，就会被理性截止了。。。这种现象有好有坏的。。。而这死鱼儿又天天活在自己的世界里，就是说即使在爱情里，仅仅是单方面的付出，不管暗恋的人知不知道自己对她的爱意，牺牲，甚至不介意她不知道自己的存在！自己就已经满足到~~~~~~~~

还有，我的超理性也让我最终承认了我对“择偶条件”的过高要求。。。唉。。。

(3). My Spiritual Well Being...
(Use back English. heh heh...) This is also one of the "top priority" stuff I wanna mention about. And this happens to be the most complex one, so this is also very difficult to write about, don't know where to start. I also want to write down all of the wonderful spiritual encounters with God that I have these years... before I forget them and never be remembered, then it will be a really a sad stuff... Those moments... are wonderful of coure, memorable and... interesting~! And these encounters really built up my relationship with God and my faith. Eventually, these memories are the only weapon or shield for me to fight my spiritual warfare now...

Ok, the followings are most recent one, it does not need to date back to early this year.

(4). Decision to Leave My Singapore Church??
Because of my spiritual well being, of which obviously is not so well-being, I wanted to leave this Mega Church... But many factors got me... If you can agree with me that I am the "think-a-lot-Piscean" that I mentioned earlier this blog, then it should be easily understood why I got so many factors one... Anyways and actually, things happened in a more or less "I want it that way" thing. Long story... But what I want to say here is, the trigger point for me to "leave" the church, was my passport... My pages are using up! There was actually an entry pass for foreigners to come into Singapore without filling in the "white card". I went to apply that only to get rejected! In utmost disappointment with "all other factors come in together", I finally told my spiritual leader, i.e. my Cell Group Leader (CGL), that I decided not to come into Singapore so often, and I told her my intention to find my local church, really is my local, not Singapore local... However...

After the decision, there are times I still went into Singapore on Sunday, because I got stuff to deal with. And times that I didn't drive into Singapore, I will go to gym instead. I know and I know that, and God knows that, I won't find a JB church so fast one, because ultimately, what I am yearning right now, is more of my personal space, to do the things that I wanna do, to get back the things that I had lost in the past few years... Specifically what I had lost? In fact, it was what I had gained... I gained weight... And I really wanted to lose the "gain" and really lose some weight! This is one of my important achievement for the time beings...

Really, about this topic, there are a lot more to write, because of the "many factors"... Let's see will I write them out eventually in the next entries?? Haha...

(5). Money Matter
Recently, I did mentioned something about $ on my MSN status... In fact, regarding money matter, there are two absolutely standalone events that I am involved. If you can remember there was one status I mentioned I needed professional help or advice from lawyer or police and etc... That was the first event, and it had dated back to like 3 years ago when I was still in Singapore. This got to related with the Multiple Level Marketing (MLM) company that I used to belong to. There should have many related stories that encircled or in directly linked with mine, and I am most interested to find out, but to no avail... Hmmm... should I mention that a police report was filed actually? But anyways, I am satisfied with the current status of this issue, where my 4th sis, Ah Bee aka Finn helped me a lot with it. I am really really thankful for her.

Another money matter happens around here in JB, near my workplace. Somebody somehow owed my $ but refuse to pay up, and to think that my family has been helping his family all this while. “过河拆桥” is all I can say!

About these 2 issues, there are friends who had already asked me what happen... But I was really tired and will be frustrated and lazy to type out all the details of the stories in MSN... Well, it is all the tiny little details that make up one interesting story, right? If you want summary, I have given you right? "people owe me money" lor... Haha... so let's will I write in details about money matter also... Ahaha...

(6). A New Business to Venture?
My loving daddy recently set up another company to do realty, real property. And when he told everybody (not everybody; individually, and not publicly) about it, it seems he also communicated the idea that "it is opened for me". I heard sis telling me this "he opened it for you..." Aww... feel so stressed sometimes. I do have a mixed feeling about this... I should be happy really, but somehow I don't feel the "excitement" within me. Don't really know how to put them in words but of course, I don't mean that I am not satisfied with this arrangement lah, I will definitely do my best one. Not to let the whole family down, yes whole family, and also myself lah... Right now, I am designing the company logo and the layout of some documents. My father had asked me to do the company stamp and it went wrong for 2 times! The stamps are made in a way it is fixed and cannot subject to amendment, this means that I had 1 extra bad size chop and 1 extra bad layout chop for nothing! Now is the third time doing it, think should not have any problem liao ba...

Just find it funny and a sweet thing about my mum here... Because daddy is using her name also to open up the company, he had to get her to sign the necessary documents. When I asked her daddy got asked her to sign anything, she said yes. Then I asked her, do you know what are you signing for? She reply：“不懂啊，他叫我签我就签啰！” (I don't know, he asked me to sign, so I signed lor.) Then I joked, "that one is to agree that you will give him one million dollar." Haha... Wow... but I really admire her such trust towards daddy... so funny yet sweet. Haha...

(7). Went Back for Singapore Church for a Purpose!?
This is the "second episode" to Point #4. Think it gonna be absolutely very long. Best to put it on the next entry. XD Haha... Okie, shall stop here then. :) Feel like typing a 95% to 100% Chinese blog leh... Haha...

Lieh Not Enough~! (Part 6) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(8). Enjoy Every Beautiful Thing
What are those "every beautiful things" in my life? It can be stories, interesting / remarkable quotes, movie, games, books, place, people and stuff. These are the things that I not only enjoy and love, but also some will touch me, encourage me and give me the strength to go on during my down time, telling me that there're things in life that worth your attention, there're things you can hope for, there're things that you can love very much. This seems like a repetition of "games" (number 4), but it is just that playing games require a much more commitment than all other enjoyable things, resulting no more space for other stuff. Therefore, I differentiated out the game and summarize all other enjoyable and beautiful thing into this.

"A beautiful mind sees a beautiful world."

Lieh

Having a "beautiful mind", I see a lot of beautiful things in the world. (不要脸！）Haha... Therefore also, I love many things... But again, it is also just that I fall in love and get interested with things easily, especially of those that I consider "beautiful". The word "beautiful" I use here has an extremely subjective definition. It is not just limited to the physical appearance but also include of what a flesh eye cannot see, something like 深度(depth) ，内涵 and etc.

Because I am a commitment-conscious and meticulous, sometimes, when I fall in love with something, I tend to have the desire to "find out deeper". Maybe this is what is meant by “钻牛角尖”. I happened to have a chance to go and 算命，the master also advice me not to “钻牛角尖”! Ok, more story about this experience in the future. Anyways, because of this, I tend to give myself unnecessary pains and troubles. Kind of contradict and irony you see, I love those stuff but I don't have enough time for them, and by committing time, money and effort into them, it will eventually cause me pain and stuff... Aijo... So how? What to do? 怎样（yang1)？

Oh, no... I had a very long pause after I typed the above sentence, "Aijo... So how? What to do? 怎样（yang1)？" I was really thinking on "what to do?" and nothing gets into my head... I don't really know how to continue until I came out an idea of writing all these down... haha... Anyways, I don't have much to write about my "beautiful things" here... maybe because it is also the 钻牛角尖 thing, of which I mean, it gonna have a whole lot of stuff and stories to tell again... haha...

(9). Simply Doing Nothing
This is just a "break time" thing you see... It is like God created the world, Adam and Eve, and on the seventh day, He rests. So after telling so many thing, I also need a break lah... Haha... "Simply doing nothing" also reflect the yearning for the value of freedom. I once thought that freedom is nothing for me, I don't need freedom; I can handle things well, I don't need a "break". I am a "responsible" person and will commit in anything that I do. Yes, I thought like that in the past, until... Until whole lot of things got me, whole lot of responsibilities that I assumed... That eventually I lost the time for myself, I lost the time to play game, to do the things I wanna do... That "I'm busy", "Sorry, I am not free", etc... This is the time I realize that "freedom" really matters to me. I finally realize that I need a break, a damn big break free from many things! I needed a time to be myself, being myself and not someone else.

"Doing nothing" is just a space that I wanted to create for myself, a space to be myself, a space to yearn for my freedom, and obtain a balance between responsibility and freedom, to do the things that I really love to do, other than play game, gym, watching movie etc, such as making creative cards for my friends, start a research topic and ... a lot more... "Doing nothing" is a space, a gap that I created for potential expansion for all the above 8 Liehs that I ever mentioned; It is also a space to allow, to welcome any surprises in life, and I hope that those surprises are of joyful one~! 空间，空间啊~！钻牛角尖之后要留一些空间呼吸啊~！Ah... I came across a phrase to describe and summarize all of these -- "a space to breath". That's it! It explains everything! Everything is not everything!

Yeah~ This is the shortest entry so far~! :p~~

Lieh Not Enough~! (Part 5) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(7). All Other Little Things
One major, important task in my life, in everybody's life is to handle all other little things that come across in your life... Word of Jesus is like this "be faithful in little things". His quotes found in the Bible are as followed:-

"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much."

Luke 16:10 (NKJV)

"His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.' "

Matthew 25:21 (NKJV)

Luke 16:10 is what I summarize into "faithful in little things". And it is also saying that when you are faithful in the small things, you will also faithful in the big things; While Matthew 25:21 talks about faithfulness over few things, you will have authority over much more things, and thereby implying the character / value of responsibility.

So what are these little things? These are also what I categorize into "take care of yourselves" things, such as doing house chores, tidying up (so that the environment you live in is clean), bathing, brushing etc. (so that your body is physically clean), car washing (if you own a car) and etc. I am very much thankful to have my mama. She is the one who takes care of house chores and tidying up. And she is the one who impacted and influenced her four daughters to be extremely cleanness conscious! I once rented a flat with my fourth sister in Singapore. We agreed that I will be responsible for sweeping and mopping the floor. But the floor gets dirty easily because the flat is located next to the main road. And I was kind of lazy to do the sweeping and mopping very frequently... As a result, my sis would complain frequently about the dirty floor... Haha...

Now shifted back to JB, my mama is the one who washes my clothes, sweeping and mopping and etc. I am very thankful to have her because I no need to do such little things. However, also because of this, that she assumed too much responsibilities over this and eventually crossed the boundary and came into my private zone! She touched my stuff without asking my permission first! Oh~~no~~ I wanted to sort out a pile of documents that I wanna keep so I classified them into places all around inside my room, so that I know the different categories. Then I couldn't finish the sorting and the next day I went to Singapore for Sunday Service. About evening, I came back and went directly into my room... I WAS SHOCKED ! ! !

My room layout was completely different!!! She then told me that for some "Feng Shui" purpose, the she and my father altered my room layout. I used to have a big, full body mirror but was now removed from my room. Bed's and wardrobe's position had changed, so was study table... Then I saw a pile of documents stacked up... I was wondering... then I remembered! I was so angry~! I just sorted them out, and now they were back into stacks! I kept my 2D animation drawings in a box, when I reached home that day, they were taken out of the box and when I asked where was the box, she could told me that the box are rusted (some parts of the box had metal) and she said she could use the box... Now, what would you think in your mind?? Then the best part is here... I just "squeezed" back DreamCast console (an old fashioned game console) into its box. If you have realized, most of the electrical products when took out of the nicely packed boxes, it is extremely difficult to put back, to pack them back into the box nicely and perfectly, because the products was machine-packed. In order to save space within the box, and maybe for visual, marketing purpose, boxes are usually designed to be visually attractive (and therefore smaller size is better). I wanted to keep the game console back into the box because I no longer playing it and thought of selling it away. So I packed it as nicely as I could, and I took a long time to achieve that... But on that day I came back, the stuff inside were taken out! And my mama asked me, "what are the things inside? Stored inside so long later spoilt." That's the time, my anger could not be controlled anymore!!! I shouted, "I just put them into the box like only... yesterday!!!" (FYI, I shouted from upstairs to downstairs where she was, so it wasn't really a face-to-face shouting)

Really, I was not against her for touching my stuff, invade my private space, not gimme self-respect and stuff... But at least, and the very first thing to do, is to tell me, inform me or ask me first before you want to do anything on my stuff. So that I can tell you some information, so that I am mentally-prepared for the "surprise"! Haha... And you will not mess up for what I am doing right now! Then I no need to do things twice, TWICE. And sometimes even more than twice! I gotta take back the box to put back my 2D animation, packed back my game console, sorted out again all the documents that I just sorted out! Why? Am I rehearsing a drama is it?

That night, with much anger regarding this issue, and also certain disappointment with God, I almost gone mad in my room... I was like, bashing stuff in my room. I wanted to shout out loud, real loud to release my anger, but in order not to disturb my family, I opened my mouth and exerted my strength from stamina but uttered no voices. I was trying my best to release all of my anger that night... I was complaining to God ... again. But after the release, after I calmed down. I got better... Sometimes, I just couldn't help to think that this is just my life, my fate... That whenever I try to do something, challenges will come. And those are dramatic challenges... I really wonder can my life story go up to TV screen or not... haha... After I had calmed down, I also thanked God that my mama's help, that her interference of tidying up my room actually helps towards achieving my goal, i.e. to arrange my room after all. Regardless of her ignorance about my stuff, she did help to clean up, put other stuff into boxes, etc. I was just thinking, if she could have asked me things before she started anything, things would have been done with effectiveness... And I thanked God for my somewhat dramatic life lor... Haha...

Other than being faithful in little things like daily chores, one should be mindful of his/her speech and word. “言者无意，听者有心” you know. And because human body system does not consist of physical body only, it also includes your mind, your soul and spirit. Therefore also be careful of what is in your mind is thinking right now; what books, movies, games etc that you are contacting with. Well, maybe I become too meticulous, too suspicious over things... But still, these are the little things that we should be faithful of.

And there is one "powerful" little thing that the world has much neglected, and this is the "promise(s)". Some people get so used to "promise something easily and forget that something easily" that this eventually creates problem like mistrust, lost confidence in something or someone, lack of security, etc. This is the reason why I don't like to promise people, don't like to give people "empty promises". I am much overwhelmed by my own stuff that I can hardly give out times for other things... The best I can ever tell you is "I will try..." Or, if I ever promise something, I will definitely added "I will do this when I am free" at the end of my speech. And you will be surprise at times when a long forgotten promise being fulfilled out of nowhere~! Haha... This is really because I don't like to give empty promises and I don' like to disappoint people.

As you can see by now, that those little things are really insignificant at times... I recently learned a word to describe such stuff, i.e. "trivia". Yes, such insignificant, trivia are not the key towards greatness and success. However, the word of Christ is still valid. Jesus was just telling us, when you are faithful in the little things, it implies your potential / possible attitude towards the greater things (Luke 16:10). Or simply an alteration of the idea of "what you focus, you will magnify"? But anyways, taking science as a parable, like the things that our physical eyes can see, is actually made up of extremely small particles that Science called them atoms and molecules. We learned this during school times. Really, anything that is big, is also made up of lots of small little parts that is usually insignificant... On the contrary-cum-similarly , all the little things that when summed up together, when gather together, will eventually become some thing great, either great in a glorious and glamors manner, or great in a negative ways, you know like, "big troubles", "I'm busy", "so many things to do, I'm so stressed." Oh, no...

This is also the reason why I will treasure all the little things that I ever aware of... How much little things your eyes can see your mind can perceive, depends on how detailed person you are. Being a thoughtful person, of course I myself see a lot of little things... And thereby, giving me more things to do, and in turns of course, ... more troubles... sigh...

I always wanted to arrange my room and until now I am still arranging my room~! I once had a conversation with an old friend of mine, she asked me "what are you doing now?" I answered, "I'm arranging my room." "Huh? Why are you still keep arranging your room? It is something that I always hear from you~!" Such conversation rang a bell in my heart... I realized that all the while I had been doing the same things! And I really want to break away from this cycle. In the past, I was looking for an "once-and-for-all" solution, but as I grew up, and screwed up, I realize that there are a lot of things in life do not have such one-time solution. But instead, whole lot of things require constant attention and maintenance. Yes, whole lot: body, mind, soul, spirit, everything... But thank-God-ly, I invented myself a plan of which what I called the Major Arrangement Plan (MAP). But in order to tell the whole story, it takes some episodes to explain... Haha... Yeah, another somewhat-dramatic-life thing. However, as a brief introduction, it is something that records all of my To Do List (TDL), all the little things that I want to do, records the potential things that I want to do, to have, to research about, good habits to develop etc. And it helps to govern what should be done in the short term, what can be waited for the future, i.e. prioritization. It also helps me to focus what to do now and what to accomplish. In addition, it comes with a reward system, that when I had accomplish certain numbers of tasks, I can reward myself with games! Haha...

Ok, shall stop here... Every time when I thought I got nothing to write, but when I started writing, all the ideas just flash out, resulting long entries again and again... haha... :D

Lieh Not Enough~! (Part 4) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(6). Do Great Things
Being a loving and creative being, I always have some brilliant ideas once in a while to contribute to the world... But it never come into realistic progress because those are simply my humble imagination and has not been tested or proven! How I wish I could really have my own research team and facilities to let my dreamsss come into real actions.

Sometimes, these "great things" is always linked with God, the purpose, calling of the Lord, and for the glory of the Lord~! But, not necessary true all the time... And this may appear to be another repetition of my first mentioned commitment, i.e. God, but is still a different one. God, talks about the relationship with God, and of more towards spiritual means. On the other hand, doing great things can be for God, but also for the world and mankind. And is usually towards changing life, changing world by means of implementing new system, new mindsets, and new physical / materialized and visible things... And I will say this, those are interesting, innovative ideas that the world could ever have it! Haha... Sometimes I wasn't very convinced that in my life, I cannot be an innovative inventor and stuff. But of course, it takes whole lot of "impossibilities" path to walk towards such goal....

Ever since I came to my Church, CHC, I guess I gave people the impression that I am one who love God, who is fervent and has a burning desire for God. Haha... One remark that was given to me that I especially liked is: "I thought you've been in Church for years." Haha, when I was only in Church for about 2 years! I do give people the idea that I am an experienced City Harvester. And I can memorize the Church's mission statement! Which I think not a lot of people does. Oops... I am sooo outwardly spiritual~! Haha... Anyways, because of the Church's mission statement, I joined a ministry in the Church, which is the ever famous, effective and committed Usher Ministry with the ever excellent attitude of serving~! I love my Usher Ministry I tell you! Through Jesus' word,

"Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant."

Matthew 20:26 (NKJV)

I learned about greatness, and it is always associated with servanthood. Pastor Kong had been preaching about this two recently, and usher is the common example to quote. Even such, the rhema word, understanding and the desire had entered into my heart about 3 years ago. This is one of the reasons, that I am not willing to give up my Usher status. I want to fulfill the Church's mission statement~!

Other than the mission statement, the God-given vision to Pastor Kong and the Church is "a church without walls", "to serve beyond the 4 walls of the Church". It simply means to love and help people not only in church but also those out of church. Being an usher, sometimes I was asked to station at the main gate of the church (Jurong West Branch) as a traffic marshal. When there was event in the Singapore Indoor Stadium (SIS), some ushers are to station around the corridors and gates, etc. During such serving in usher, when I was not in the main auditorium where worships and sermons are held, I had some "being left out" feelings. How I wish I had duty inside the main hall instead, to enjoy the praise and worship, to feel and dwell in the presence of God. However, this is also the time that I realized something important... Hmmm, I can't really put them into words, but it was like you will miss out praising and worshiping God when you don't have the opportunity to do so, so next time when you get the quality time to praise and worship God, you will treasure it more. It is like the Chinese saying:

“人要等到失去之后才会懂得珍惜”

But beyond this revelation there is another greater one... When you know that there are people happily worshiping God inside a walled conference room without much distraction from the outside world, and sometimes know not the weather outside, whether it is sunshine or a rainy day... but you are left outside serving, away from the presence of God, facing either burning sun or cooling rain... and I kind of linked this to those who know not Christ... I feel sad for them... Slowly, with other issues, I came into a revelation that I finally told God, and I wanted to tell the world that:

"I am God's faithful usher, and I serve beyond the four walls of the Church!"

Which is why, God's ministries cannot be limited within churches only, they must go beyond! That's also why Jesus talked about the "extra mile", the spirit and attitude of excellence~! That's why I am thinking of greatness, my all-time-favorite value (system). And I want to serve the world, change the world in a "like never before" manner! Haha...

In addition, just like some other faithful and fervent members, I also had desire to be raised up as a Cell Group Leader (CGL) and to attend School of Theology (SOT) organized by the Church... 2 years ago, I attended Reverend Mike Connell's deliverance service via CHC. In the hope of getting dramatic deliverance, I got a leader (who helped out in the healing and deliverance) laid hand on me and prayed instead. And what he prayed? He prayed that I would raise up as a CGL! And then recently, I attended my ex-CG members' wedding dinner, and met other ex-CG members. In our conversation, they kind of expected me to be a CGL by now! Haha... Somehow, or maybe, I just have the "look" or "kuan" of a typical leader? Haha... or maybe it is just people's humble and encouraging words? Or really, it is the calling of the Lord? Really? But anyways... things didn't turn out good here... I didn't manage to become a CGL... Guess circumstances got me... After all, it really the timing that did not favor me... sigh... And the SOT is just another story... (not telling now. :p)

As an imaginative being and one who belief himself as being creative, I love to make up stories, new ideas and new theories. I think I have talent in creative writings... But I was also weak in languages at times, literatures and vocabulary in both Chinese and English. I wish I have the time to improve on these so that I can really go on trying to write stories... I have many wonderful imaginations and brilliant stories, but again I was limited by my incapability. I studied a little drawing skills before. I thought of drawing comics, but my drawing skills... is like... one thing that I would never show off to people one... Haha...

One interesting fact about story ideas... I think I was inspired by the world's (especially Chinese) all-time-favorite author, Jin Yong (金庸）and game story like Final Fantasy VII. So I had my own sets of story timeline, characters and stuff. After I became a Christian and attended my Church, all of my characters also "accepted Christ"~! Haha... Erm... if you know what I mean lah... I was trying to say, the stories before I know Christ are those fantasy stuff while after I know Christ, those stories also have put in the element of Christ. Haha...

In addition to greatness, I really hope that I can venture into new business and earning big profit$!!!. I graduated with Bachelor Degree in Business And Management Studies. I thought of applying what I have learned and put them into real action plans... But then again, this is the part of me that I wish I am able to further develop onto...

Being a very much thoughtful and all-rounder person, I also having some problems in choosing a career path. Some times I think I can do a lot of things with a wide variety, I can be artist, businessman, scientist, inventor, engineer???, philosopher! etc. because of my wide scope of thoughts. But in the end, I didn't do anything great, I don't have a specific career path and professions. Once in my life I came into a conclusion that only one job is suitable for me and that is writer! Only by one who writes stories and scripts, I can be more than one person, one role, one profession etc.! Because in any stories, it is very least possible to only have one character. Instead, there are certain numbers of characters in any stories. When one story gets more complicated, it tends to have more characters. And this just remind myself that I actually love variety~! I get much excitement when I know about a variety of stuff, such as colours, animals, people, character and stuff... That is also one of the reason why I love stories with a lot of characters, and especially with unique and differentiable personality, style, preference, and even power! Such as X-men, 天龙八部(金庸）(Tian Long Ba Bu by Jin Yong). I wish I can write stories as such.

Oh! There is one more wish that I have, i.e. to produce movie! Because I like to watch movie also and will be inspired by certain movies once in a while. Recently, after watching some movies I had come into a thirst in my desire, I feel and have a revelation of this "There must be something more in a movie"! A lot of movies are being filmed and shown each years. The competition is intense but I can hardly catch one real good and remarkable movie... It is like... movie come, movie go, but only a few can stay in my heart; only a few that is, that is real good and powerful that can change the course of your mindset, your life... Hmmm, maybe the people doesn't yearn for a change? Maybe people just wanna relax their body and mind by catching an entertaining movie? So it is entertainment and not enlightenment? Haha... Anyways, "something more than a movie", or "something more in a move" is a question or a seed that has left in my heart, waiting for an answer, a season of blossoms and revelations!

I had talked much about my great things, but am I any closer to any of these? Nope! All of such only remain as my dreams and imagination... I can't make my first step here... sad. Lieh-not-enough. Let there be enough. :)

Lieh not Enough~! (Part 3) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(5). Gym and Being Handsome
I wasn't very keen in Physical Education (PE) when I was schooling. My PE always failed that time. And I didn't make an effort to improve on it much because I didn't have to serve in the army, so what's the purpose? When I was in Poly, a friend of mine brought me to a fitness centre, California Fitness Centre (CFC) to say the name. Don't know why also, I signed up a membership in the end. But still, I didn't utilize this membership much until...

After I graduated from Poly, this was the time that I made more utilization of the gym centre. That time, I happened to have some hundreds dollars. So I decided to sign up a personal training (PT) of about 8 to 10 sessions with my personal trainer (also acronym as PT?). And this was the moment that "changed my life"! Haha...

With the aid of PT, and happened to have a chance of eating less (because not staying with my mama mah), I successfully slimmed down from about 65kg to 58kg, and obtained a more toned body! But now coming back to JB, staying with my loving mum, I gained up to 68kg over a period of 2 years! And then my current weight is about 66kg. I lost about 2kg after coming back from Vietnam trip. Why? Cos I ate the "wrong" food and got diarrhea over a period of about 3 weeks! Daily, I couldn't eat much. Toilets were my frequent going places. On the first week, I thought "I can get well soon", so didn't heed doctor, but... On the second week, I decided to see my so-called family doctor who after examined my stomach, advised me to take Vitagen, 2 to 3 bottles a day... Yah, I was surprised by his saying and I thought he was not going to gimme additional medicines, haha... He gave me some medicines, including antibiotics... But I didn't get much better. So on the third week, I went to see another doctor near my house, had an injection from my buttock "ouch!" (not really painful though), more medicine, stronger antibiotics, and this doctor actually "went on extra mile" to gimme fever medicine where I didn't have fever! His stand was, "usually such diarrhea will generate heat in your body, causing fever". Well, after I had consumed this doctor's given medicine, except the fever one, I finally got better... Yah, only "better". Only a few days after I finished the medicine, I could finally say, "I'm recovered totally"!

So much story just to tell how I lost the 2kg... Anyways, coming back to my topic: gym. Since the sessions with my PT, I not only lost weight, but also gained a much better looking body. People could tell from my "shape" that I got workout regularly. I don't mean of those big muscles in body building, because I was losing weight, remember? In this weight losing process, I lost most of my "baby fats"; my shoulder become broader and stronger enough for a girl to cry on; I got chests you know! A beautiful V-shape body; sexy waist I tell you! That was the time I feel so "confident" in my life. But... “好景不长。。。” I stopped this habit of exercising when I became too busy with Church commitments and other stuff... Finally, I stopped going back to my lovely CFC totally when I shifted back to JB...

Days that I stopped gym & exercising, I realized that I fall sick easily... And I think I looks no energy, tired, sleepy most of the time. I could still remember, I looked more energetic, and really am more energetic when I kept a habit of exercising. That's why I love "pumping" myself in fitness centres. However, there is something here in my mind that I am not able to think through... I know that I will look better and feel better when I exercise regularly. But to achieve that, I have to spend time, quality time in fitness centre. Last time when I studied in MDIS, I happened to have lots of such quantity of time for me to gym in fitness centre. I spent like hours in the centre every time I went there. I do all kinds of exercise, from cardio, upper body, legs, abs, attending classes like body pump, body combat, and finally before going to shower, I would also spend time in the sauna and steam room! It was like, I was really totally utilize this fitness centre's facilities!

However, times that I do not have regular exercise, I would spent time... or rather, my time is spent in sickness and sleeping... I feel to exercise or not, time is still wasted... What I mean is like, time is still needed for building up a healthy lifestyle of exercising, if not time will be spent on and with sickness, and when you gets older, more sickness will befriend with you... But nevertheless, I guess the point is still that exercising not only gimme a better look (energetic, nice body & "sexy" body, haha...) and better feel （more confident), it also keeps me healthy and away from sickness, and definitely beneficial in the long run. Therefore, I would still prefer “waste time" in exercising than to mourn with sickness in bed! Haha...

I also love the feeling during gym and exercising, during those muscles building or body shaping moment... I love the idea that "when you think you can't" but with a little push, or motivation, you realize that actually you can! Yes, you can do it! So you see, body exercising is not only beneficial to the physical body itself, it also helps to develop your mind. And of course, a positive mindset. How true it is... when people say, if you wanna slim down, any methods will do, but the most important factor is still your mind, i.e. your determination! I strongly agree with this man! In addtion, I especially love the feeling of exhausting myself, my body, my muscle with those equipments of muscle shaping, cardio, etc. etc. I think I can't really keen in describing such feelings, I couldn't find any best words or phrase here to describe the feelings perfectly... Maybe also because that was like 3 years ago... Yah, it is about 3 years already... And I am looking forward to get back such healthy habit!

Thank-God-ly, a fitness centre called "Clark Hatch" decided to open up a branch here in JB. And yes! I signed up! I couldn't wait to get back my "nice body"! "Toned body, I miss ya~!" Right now, there are a total of 3 branches here in JB. The one that I signed up is located in City Square. There is another branch located in Danga Bay which is near to the seaside, facing Singapore. But I heard from the staff that this branch is not affiliated with the branch in City Square, due to different management and therefore different promotion and stuff. However, one older branch is located in Permas Jaya, it has swimming pool aslo... and this branch is affiliated! The membership package I signed up allows me to go to this branch, however, Permas Jaya is way too far from my house in Skudai... :( so sad... I wish I can find some time to swim there...

Since the branch had opened, I only went there once till date! So sad... Truly, I wish I can spend lots of time "sticking" to the gym like in the past, shaping up my body... 6 packs! I wish I could achieve that... Though in the past, I spent lots of effort in the gym, I could still never get my 6 packs. I would really want, for once in my life, to get that sexy-six-packs man! I really want it! Every time I do Goal-Setting, there are goals that "don't really seems like a goal, but more to a habit thing, or something that we ought to do regularly", but I set them as goals to achieve. This results in ineffective goal setting I guess... But to me, "to have 6 packs" is really something that I could call it a "goal"! No doubt! Dear God, for once in my life, just let me have it! Please~~~ I will work hard to achieve it!

Yeah! Maybe by now, if you are reading, you should have sensed the "vainness" in me? Yeah, I'm kinda vain pot that you can call... But one will not easily draw into this conclusion if you always see me... This is because my "vainness" is much covered up by my shyness... Haha... And my idea of dressing up, grooming, looking good, etc starts with the physical body and appearance itself. To me, as a guy, to look good in front of others, what really matter is your body and face, what you wear will come second. If I don't have a nice body, wearing anything will do... Of course, I will still try to wear nice and "update" lah... But I assure you this, if you see me having a toned body, that's the time you will realize I will dress real different to "show off" the "essence" of human body shape which is wrapped within the clothes I am wearing... Haha... Oh... I miss those singlets... Oh~ No~ I'm such a vain pot... God help me~! Haha... Anyways, my fashion stands is like this:

“我穿衣服，不是衣服穿我”

Hope you can understand the essence of this quote... What I want to mean is, I bring up the clothes I am wearing, and not the clothes I am wearing bring me up... In whichever sense, the person should still be the main thing, and not of the clothes...

Some people say I am handsome... I don't know about that... But also, I don't want to deny that! Haha~~~ Oops... Anyways, but this is what I find out: (1) I am aunties' & uncles' market. Most uncles and aunties will find me good-looking, unless their children is better looking than myself? Haha... (2) In place with no handsome guy, I tend to stand out. But when there is handsome guy around, I will tend to fade off... Sigh... and not to mention my height... My 166cm is not enough for me to qualify as a model... :( Height-not-enough also...

OK lah, my only desire regarding this issue now is to first get back the more toned and defined body, then have my sis, Ah Bee, also known as (AKA) Finn, a professional photographer to shoot down many photos and have my portfolio... I had one portfolio that time... Went to take the portfolio with my best friend and her sister. Another interesting story here again! But ain't telling lah... Haha... Anyways, that portfolio was not bad, but I will not call it a success neither. My sis, Ah Bee Finn, was a little angry with me when she found out about the portfolio. It was a "You wanna shoot portfolio, why didn't look for me???" thing. After she looked at those photos, I guessed she had wonderful time laughing and mocking at me ba... Haha... So, "to compensate" I will try my best to get back the body of mine, and to have a much better one, then have my sis to be my photographer this time. I'll be her model, and help her advertise her skill~! haha... Wish us "all the best" okay?

Yeah~! I am so excited about this! I wanna keep fit and stay handsome! Haha~ Regardless I have some doubts and disappointment with my God, spirituality and faith questions, I am still thankful that there are still such hope that keep me going, that light up and spice up my life...

So in the end, this entry only talk about keeping fit and stay handsome, huh? Aijo... still got so many things to say... Lieh-not-enough, height-not-enough, blog-not-enough... How? Haha... At least I enjoy writing blogs ya~!

Lieh not Enough~! (Part 2) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(1). God

My God occupies one of the largest portion of my life. Not trying to be "spiritual", but I kind of started "searching God" when I was in primary school. Since then, parts and pieces of my life involves this element of God. Currently there are so many questions in my mind about God, His Unconditional Love, and the Free Will which He freely will for us... Such questions are tough and at times, uncomfortable, up to the extent that I will say my brain is going to burst~! Yet nevertheless, such questions are never harmful as it may seem to be. I do enjoy the process of such thoughts, or I currently call it "my spiritual warfare", or "battling of the mind". The fact is, regardless of the hard part, I can still get some inspirations~! This is my version / style of "seeking the Lord".

(2). Family
Yes, my family is definitely one of the most important element in my life. "I love my family~!" I would say. However, there are times I do realize that I don't know how to love them effectively, and maybe perfectly. Neither their loves for me is the one that I seek and desire. What do I mean by to love effectively & perfectly? It is to love one in a way the person wants to love and be loved. To love someone perfectly is difficult, almost impossible. At times, I couldn't help to think that "perfection" is an illusion. Or to illustrate better, "perfection" is an ever on-going event that you can say that it has no end.

One desire that I have, is to love my parents and sisters and their families effectively. To know them better, to understand their needs and meet those needs. However, this is never a simple task... And this definitely will take whole lot of me to do that of which at times, I am not willing to give in, to give up my certain things just for that, you know.

(3). Friends
Yup, yup, and more friends~! Friends from primary school, secondary school, Poly, MDIS, Church -- CG, ex-CG, Usher Ministry, miscellaneous friends, ex-colleagues, sis' friends, and a very few of friends' friends. Actually, to confess, I am really a shy guy who seldom initiate a conversation with strangers. But my heart is always welcoming new friends. So I really appreciate people who will initiate a conversation with me (conditions apply, oops). What conditions? E.g. Insurance or financial planner who asks you for "a short survey" that kind...

However, there was this moment of my life that I felt so lonely. Although I have many friends as I claimed that, there are times friends are not available when you need them. Yes, some friends will be there for you when you are hurt, just broke up in relationship, severe quarrel with parents, etc. etc. But what I mean is the moment when you just come back from school or work, then you got to travel, got to eat, etc. These are the moment you are left alone when you don't have friends who stay near to you. There are times I gotta eat alone and this is a trouble when I am eating during the peak hour! Yup, no seats and no one help you to jaga your belongings!

Then as I know more of God & Jesus, my inner attitude began to change... (Though I sounded like I am giving testimony and witnessing the Lord Jesus Christ and the Christianity, I am really just saying my heart out. I am not really interested in giving Jesus testimony and witnessing for the time being of my life, I just wanna tell the truth of my heart.) And with God who brought in more friends to me that I came into the situation that I were so busy with friendsss that eventually I yearned for a time to be left alone, so that I can have times for myself~! Haha... Ironic and funny? And that was the time I realized that I really need times for myself, and myself only. I also came into a revelation that:-

"When you are lone, you're alone with God."

Lieh

And this especially true when you know the God that I know; when the God you know will actually respond~!; when you are sensitive to God~! :) :D

There are times when my friends ask me out but I am not free due to other commitments. I felt bad and pity that I can't join them. And this can really result in "lost contact" one. One thing I realized in my life is that, my family and my friends will organize events at the same day! This isn't really that "coincidence" because those day are usually special days (such as Father's & Mother's Day) and public holidays. Don't know why, I always choose to stay with family when such choices occur. There are exceptions of course. Another situation I felt bad with friends is when they invite me for their wedding dinner. I attended some but rejected some too. There are times I felt some "low self-esteem" in me that I don't feel like meeting people to update my life with them. And the more realistic problem is because of the distance and time taken for the travel. Most of my friends are in Singapore but I stay in JB. Because of all these inner and external issues, I rejected some of my friends' wedding dinner. And I felt real bad for not been able to bless them, witness and celebrate such glorious and memorable moment of their life.

I really wish I can have more quality time, and $$$ to spend with my friends. But really, friendships also need "maintenance". Those closest friends don't need much maintenance, but most friends still need it. You shouldn't be so surprised when someone invents "Friendship Management". In the market, there should have something known as "Relationship Management" already. I think it should have covered that too...

(4). Games!!!
Yeah~! Game is really one of the major element of my life~! One of the easiest way to piss off Wei Lieh, is to tell him straight to his eyes "you shouldn't play game..." !!! I tell you, I'll mark you if you tell me this. Hahaha~~~

In the past whenever I told God, "God, I want to play game." God's response is always the same, He said to me, "you can play game, but provided that you need to know how to control it." The reason why I told God that I want to play game is because at that time, I was much "church-focus", which means I spent a lot of time in church, CG, fellowship and ministries that I had not much time for myself to play game. So I was "hinting" God that, "God, you see? I am so focus in Your Kingdom that I don't have time for myself." God knows me definitely and He is aware of what will happen to me when I started playing game. And that's why He said that to me.

True enough, whenever I started a game, especially Role Playing Game (RPG), I tend to have a deep desire to finish them off at one shot. To finish the game until very end, until I have completed every tasks in the game that it ever provides, and until the credits roll up, and reach the final screen of the two words "The End'... And this means that I will ignore to do many other things, except eat, sleep and bath, and then just to give myself a quality and quantity of time to play game! And I will feel being agitated when I am interrupted while playing game... I guess this is the same as when other big boys watching soccer? Anyways, I am never a big fan of soccer.

One thing I realized in my life is that, actually I will not treat playing some online mini games, puzzle games and board games as "playing game". But rather, I treat those games as "killing my time" event. I.e., when I am stuck in a situation that I can only "wait" due to certain factors, so I have this time of waiting, this time to "kill", I will play those games... To me "playing game" is really to play a RPG game. To me, a RPG is like a story book or a movie , but more than a story book or a movie because of the high interaction points, where I am much involved in the story, it is like I am the main character, going through what the character is going. Playing a RPG to me, is like going onto a brand new adventure~! In a world of fantasy, world of magic and stuff.

In the past few years, I would actually hesitated to start a RPG, or an adventure, because of high commitment, i.e. time and effort to start and finish off this adventure. I wanted to change that. So I thought of doing other things first before I start a brand new RPG. And I will put "I want to play (RPG) game" as my core motivation to finish off all the other stuff that I have been accumulated, you know, so that I can have my quality time for my big adventure! Haha...

Sigh, but things are not going so smoothly as I planned. Whenever I tried to do something, problems will arise... resulting in frustration and stuff. When all in my mind is as clear as my core motivation, - "finish all these things then I can start a RPG, and have my new beginning." I was angry... when I tried to solve a CCTV problems, more problems pop up! When I touch computers, computers can spoil out of no where! Then I couldn't help to have a revelation that: "I cannot touch IT stuff", or "I am not fated with IT stuff"! But from another point of view, I am also considering to take up an IT course, because all those problems appears to me as "calling" or "sign and wonder"! Haha...

Because of all those frustrating issue, I tried to cool myself down by watch DVDs... And that's the time I watched a Final Fantasy XII DVD, a compilation of the game, Final Fantasy XII by Square Enix. I knew that I will not have the quality time to play this game in near future, so I thought of buying the DVD to watch and to know the story first before I can find the time to let me enjoy this game. But I was wrong.... After watching the DVD, I AM SO MUCH INSPIRED by it that I am so eager to start playing the game! After certain periods of "struggling" between "to play, or not to play", the desire prevails the problem solving... Yes, finally, after 2 years of its debut, I started playing my long waited favorite RPG, Final Fantasy XII~! I forego my previous plan of finishing other stuffs first before I start my new adventures!

Oops... you may think that I am not a determined person who gives up easily. Or you may think that I don't have much patience. Well let me assure you with this, I am one of the most determined person you can ever meet and I am definitely one of your top 10 most patience guy you can ever know as a friend~! ;) Haha...

Because of the "one thousand and one thing" to-do-list, with the "out of nowhere"-cum-"pattern-liao-liao" problems, also having a great desire to play the game, I finally come into a conclusion or revelation that my life being a Shaoyeah, still stands firmly! I am not suitable to fix stuff like IT, accomplishing tasks, solving problems, because they will "multiply" and multiply "rapidly"! But what a typical Shaoyeah can do, is to enjoy life, enjoy everything that he enjoys, as for my case, playing game! Fair enough, true enough, as I turn on my long rested Playstation2 (PS2), it doesn't go haywire, except that it is a little slow. This is a conflict as my previous stand of "not fated with IT stuff"! Haha...

I am not sure about you if you are in my situation... Come on... when you try to do something great, try to do solve some problems, but the issues do not resolve in an expected manner, and to add, more problems ensue from that directly and indirectly. Then, as you do the things you love and the things you always want to enjoy, it goes PERFECTLY alright. What will you do? What's your decision? What will you choose to do? Will you carry on dwelling with problems or jump out of them and do things that tend to go smoothly with the bonus that you actually enjoy doing that? Do I get some same thoughts as mine? Or do I get some surprising answer as "I will continue to solve those problems and forego my leisure and entertainment"? Truly, if you have the attitude of carry on solving problems, you are the person that I will want to meet in my life with top priority! So please come and meet me and solve all my problems~! Thankz alot ya!

Aiya... actually my original intention is to telling off all the 9 Liehs. But can only end at No.4, Game. Because there are really got a lot to tell man... Haha... Anyway, shall continue again. Read on~! Shall update real soon... heh heh...