Lieh Not Enough~! (Part 6) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(8). Enjoy Every Beautiful Thing
What are those "every beautiful things" in my life? It can be stories, interesting / remarkable quotes, movie, games, books, place, people and stuff. These are the things that I not only enjoy and love, but also some will touch me, encourage me and give me the strength to go on during my down time, telling me that there're things in life that worth your attention, there're things you can hope for, there're things that you can love very much. This seems like a repetition of "games" (number 4), but it is just that playing games require a much more commitment than all other enjoyable things, resulting no more space for other stuff. Therefore, I differentiated out the game and summarize all other enjoyable and beautiful thing into this.

"A beautiful mind sees a beautiful world."

Lieh

Having a "beautiful mind", I see a lot of beautiful things in the world. (不要脸！）Haha... Therefore also, I love many things... But again, it is also just that I fall in love and get interested with things easily, especially of those that I consider "beautiful". The word "beautiful" I use here has an extremely subjective definition. It is not just limited to the physical appearance but also include of what a flesh eye cannot see, something like 深度(depth) ，内涵 and etc.

Because I am a commitment-conscious and meticulous, sometimes, when I fall in love with something, I tend to have the desire to "find out deeper". Maybe this is what is meant by “钻牛角尖”. I happened to have a chance to go and 算命，the master also advice me not to “钻牛角尖”! Ok, more story about this experience in the future. Anyways, because of this, I tend to give myself unnecessary pains and troubles. Kind of contradict and irony you see, I love those stuff but I don't have enough time for them, and by committing time, money and effort into them, it will eventually cause me pain and stuff... Aijo... So how? What to do? 怎样（yang1)？

Oh, no... I had a very long pause after I typed the above sentence, "Aijo... So how? What to do? 怎样（yang1)？" I was really thinking on "what to do?" and nothing gets into my head... I don't really know how to continue until I came out an idea of writing all these down... haha... Anyways, I don't have much to write about my "beautiful things" here... maybe because it is also the 钻牛角尖 thing, of which I mean, it gonna have a whole lot of stuff and stories to tell again... haha...

(9). Simply Doing Nothing
This is just a "break time" thing you see... It is like God created the world, Adam and Eve, and on the seventh day, He rests. So after telling so many thing, I also need a break lah... Haha... "Simply doing nothing" also reflect the yearning for the value of freedom. I once thought that freedom is nothing for me, I don't need freedom; I can handle things well, I don't need a "break". I am a "responsible" person and will commit in anything that I do. Yes, I thought like that in the past, until... Until whole lot of things got me, whole lot of responsibilities that I assumed... That eventually I lost the time for myself, I lost the time to play game, to do the things I wanna do... That "I'm busy", "Sorry, I am not free", etc... This is the time I realize that "freedom" really matters to me. I finally realize that I need a break, a damn big break free from many things! I needed a time to be myself, being myself and not someone else.

"Doing nothing" is just a space that I wanted to create for myself, a space to be myself, a space to yearn for my freedom, and obtain a balance between responsibility and freedom, to do the things that I really love to do, other than play game, gym, watching movie etc, such as making creative cards for my friends, start a research topic and ... a lot more... "Doing nothing" is a space, a gap that I created for potential expansion for all the above 8 Liehs that I ever mentioned; It is also a space to allow, to welcome any surprises in life, and I hope that those surprises are of joyful one~! 空间，空间啊~！钻牛角尖之后要留一些空间呼吸啊~！Ah... I came across a phrase to describe and summarize all of these -- "a space to breath". That's it! It explains everything! Everything is not everything!

Yeah~ This is the shortest entry so far~! :p~~

Lieh Not Enough~! (Part 5) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(7). All Other Little Things
One major, important task in my life, in everybody's life is to handle all other little things that come across in your life... Word of Jesus is like this "be faithful in little things". His quotes found in the Bible are as followed:-

"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much."

Luke 16:10 (NKJV)

"His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.' "

Matthew 25:21 (NKJV)

Luke 16:10 is what I summarize into "faithful in little things". And it is also saying that when you are faithful in the small things, you will also faithful in the big things; While Matthew 25:21 talks about faithfulness over few things, you will have authority over much more things, and thereby implying the character / value of responsibility.

So what are these little things? These are also what I categorize into "take care of yourselves" things, such as doing house chores, tidying up (so that the environment you live in is clean), bathing, brushing etc. (so that your body is physically clean), car washing (if you own a car) and etc. I am very much thankful to have my mama. She is the one who takes care of house chores and tidying up. And she is the one who impacted and influenced her four daughters to be extremely cleanness conscious! I once rented a flat with my fourth sister in Singapore. We agreed that I will be responsible for sweeping and mopping the floor. But the floor gets dirty easily because the flat is located next to the main road. And I was kind of lazy to do the sweeping and mopping very frequently... As a result, my sis would complain frequently about the dirty floor... Haha...

Now shifted back to JB, my mama is the one who washes my clothes, sweeping and mopping and etc. I am very thankful to have her because I no need to do such little things. However, also because of this, that she assumed too much responsibilities over this and eventually crossed the boundary and came into my private zone! She touched my stuff without asking my permission first! Oh~~no~~ I wanted to sort out a pile of documents that I wanna keep so I classified them into places all around inside my room, so that I know the different categories. Then I couldn't finish the sorting and the next day I went to Singapore for Sunday Service. About evening, I came back and went directly into my room... I WAS SHOCKED ! ! !

My room layout was completely different!!! She then told me that for some "Feng Shui" purpose, the she and my father altered my room layout. I used to have a big, full body mirror but was now removed from my room. Bed's and wardrobe's position had changed, so was study table... Then I saw a pile of documents stacked up... I was wondering... then I remembered! I was so angry~! I just sorted them out, and now they were back into stacks! I kept my 2D animation drawings in a box, when I reached home that day, they were taken out of the box and when I asked where was the box, she could told me that the box are rusted (some parts of the box had metal) and she said she could use the box... Now, what would you think in your mind?? Then the best part is here... I just "squeezed" back DreamCast console (an old fashioned game console) into its box. If you have realized, most of the electrical products when took out of the nicely packed boxes, it is extremely difficult to put back, to pack them back into the box nicely and perfectly, because the products was machine-packed. In order to save space within the box, and maybe for visual, marketing purpose, boxes are usually designed to be visually attractive (and therefore smaller size is better). I wanted to keep the game console back into the box because I no longer playing it and thought of selling it away. So I packed it as nicely as I could, and I took a long time to achieve that... But on that day I came back, the stuff inside were taken out! And my mama asked me, "what are the things inside? Stored inside so long later spoilt." That's the time, my anger could not be controlled anymore!!! I shouted, "I just put them into the box like only... yesterday!!!" (FYI, I shouted from upstairs to downstairs where she was, so it wasn't really a face-to-face shouting)

Really, I was not against her for touching my stuff, invade my private space, not gimme self-respect and stuff... But at least, and the very first thing to do, is to tell me, inform me or ask me first before you want to do anything on my stuff. So that I can tell you some information, so that I am mentally-prepared for the "surprise"! Haha... And you will not mess up for what I am doing right now! Then I no need to do things twice, TWICE. And sometimes even more than twice! I gotta take back the box to put back my 2D animation, packed back my game console, sorted out again all the documents that I just sorted out! Why? Am I rehearsing a drama is it?

That night, with much anger regarding this issue, and also certain disappointment with God, I almost gone mad in my room... I was like, bashing stuff in my room. I wanted to shout out loud, real loud to release my anger, but in order not to disturb my family, I opened my mouth and exerted my strength from stamina but uttered no voices. I was trying my best to release all of my anger that night... I was complaining to God ... again. But after the release, after I calmed down. I got better... Sometimes, I just couldn't help to think that this is just my life, my fate... That whenever I try to do something, challenges will come. And those are dramatic challenges... I really wonder can my life story go up to TV screen or not... haha... After I had calmed down, I also thanked God that my mama's help, that her interference of tidying up my room actually helps towards achieving my goal, i.e. to arrange my room after all. Regardless of her ignorance about my stuff, she did help to clean up, put other stuff into boxes, etc. I was just thinking, if she could have asked me things before she started anything, things would have been done with effectiveness... And I thanked God for my somewhat dramatic life lor... Haha...

Other than being faithful in little things like daily chores, one should be mindful of his/her speech and word. “言者无意，听者有心” you know. And because human body system does not consist of physical body only, it also includes your mind, your soul and spirit. Therefore also be careful of what is in your mind is thinking right now; what books, movies, games etc that you are contacting with. Well, maybe I become too meticulous, too suspicious over things... But still, these are the little things that we should be faithful of.

And there is one "powerful" little thing that the world has much neglected, and this is the "promise(s)". Some people get so used to "promise something easily and forget that something easily" that this eventually creates problem like mistrust, lost confidence in something or someone, lack of security, etc. This is the reason why I don't like to promise people, don't like to give people "empty promises". I am much overwhelmed by my own stuff that I can hardly give out times for other things... The best I can ever tell you is "I will try..." Or, if I ever promise something, I will definitely added "I will do this when I am free" at the end of my speech. And you will be surprise at times when a long forgotten promise being fulfilled out of nowhere~! Haha... This is really because I don't like to give empty promises and I don' like to disappoint people.

As you can see by now, that those little things are really insignificant at times... I recently learned a word to describe such stuff, i.e. "trivia". Yes, such insignificant, trivia are not the key towards greatness and success. However, the word of Christ is still valid. Jesus was just telling us, when you are faithful in the little things, it implies your potential / possible attitude towards the greater things (Luke 16:10). Or simply an alteration of the idea of "what you focus, you will magnify"? But anyways, taking science as a parable, like the things that our physical eyes can see, is actually made up of extremely small particles that Science called them atoms and molecules. We learned this during school times. Really, anything that is big, is also made up of lots of small little parts that is usually insignificant... On the contrary-cum-similarly , all the little things that when summed up together, when gather together, will eventually become some thing great, either great in a glorious and glamors manner, or great in a negative ways, you know like, "big troubles", "I'm busy", "so many things to do, I'm so stressed." Oh, no...

This is also the reason why I will treasure all the little things that I ever aware of... How much little things your eyes can see your mind can perceive, depends on how detailed person you are. Being a thoughtful person, of course I myself see a lot of little things... And thereby, giving me more things to do, and in turns of course, ... more troubles... sigh...

I always wanted to arrange my room and until now I am still arranging my room~! I once had a conversation with an old friend of mine, she asked me "what are you doing now?" I answered, "I'm arranging my room." "Huh? Why are you still keep arranging your room? It is something that I always hear from you~!" Such conversation rang a bell in my heart... I realized that all the while I had been doing the same things! And I really want to break away from this cycle. In the past, I was looking for an "once-and-for-all" solution, but as I grew up, and screwed up, I realize that there are a lot of things in life do not have such one-time solution. But instead, whole lot of things require constant attention and maintenance. Yes, whole lot: body, mind, soul, spirit, everything... But thank-God-ly, I invented myself a plan of which what I called the Major Arrangement Plan (MAP). But in order to tell the whole story, it takes some episodes to explain... Haha... Yeah, another somewhat-dramatic-life thing. However, as a brief introduction, it is something that records all of my To Do List (TDL), all the little things that I want to do, records the potential things that I want to do, to have, to research about, good habits to develop etc. And it helps to govern what should be done in the short term, what can be waited for the future, i.e. prioritization. It also helps me to focus what to do now and what to accomplish. In addition, it comes with a reward system, that when I had accomplish certain numbers of tasks, I can reward myself with games! Haha...

Ok, shall stop here... Every time when I thought I got nothing to write, but when I started writing, all the ideas just flash out, resulting long entries again and again... haha... :D

Lieh Not Enough~! (Part 4) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(6). Do Great Things
Being a loving and creative being, I always have some brilliant ideas once in a while to contribute to the world... But it never come into realistic progress because those are simply my humble imagination and has not been tested or proven! How I wish I could really have my own research team and facilities to let my dreamsss come into real actions.

Sometimes, these "great things" is always linked with God, the purpose, calling of the Lord, and for the glory of the Lord~! But, not necessary true all the time... And this may appear to be another repetition of my first mentioned commitment, i.e. God, but is still a different one. God, talks about the relationship with God, and of more towards spiritual means. On the other hand, doing great things can be for God, but also for the world and mankind. And is usually towards changing life, changing world by means of implementing new system, new mindsets, and new physical / materialized and visible things... And I will say this, those are interesting, innovative ideas that the world could ever have it! Haha... Sometimes I wasn't very convinced that in my life, I cannot be an innovative inventor and stuff. But of course, it takes whole lot of "impossibilities" path to walk towards such goal....

Ever since I came to my Church, CHC, I guess I gave people the impression that I am one who love God, who is fervent and has a burning desire for God. Haha... One remark that was given to me that I especially liked is: "I thought you've been in Church for years." Haha, when I was only in Church for about 2 years! I do give people the idea that I am an experienced City Harvester. And I can memorize the Church's mission statement! Which I think not a lot of people does. Oops... I am sooo outwardly spiritual~! Haha... Anyways, because of the Church's mission statement, I joined a ministry in the Church, which is the ever famous, effective and committed Usher Ministry with the ever excellent attitude of serving~! I love my Usher Ministry I tell you! Through Jesus' word,

"Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant."

Matthew 20:26 (NKJV)

I learned about greatness, and it is always associated with servanthood. Pastor Kong had been preaching about this two recently, and usher is the common example to quote. Even such, the rhema word, understanding and the desire had entered into my heart about 3 years ago. This is one of the reasons, that I am not willing to give up my Usher status. I want to fulfill the Church's mission statement~!

Other than the mission statement, the God-given vision to Pastor Kong and the Church is "a church without walls", "to serve beyond the 4 walls of the Church". It simply means to love and help people not only in church but also those out of church. Being an usher, sometimes I was asked to station at the main gate of the church (Jurong West Branch) as a traffic marshal. When there was event in the Singapore Indoor Stadium (SIS), some ushers are to station around the corridors and gates, etc. During such serving in usher, when I was not in the main auditorium where worships and sermons are held, I had some "being left out" feelings. How I wish I had duty inside the main hall instead, to enjoy the praise and worship, to feel and dwell in the presence of God. However, this is also the time that I realized something important... Hmmm, I can't really put them into words, but it was like you will miss out praising and worshiping God when you don't have the opportunity to do so, so next time when you get the quality time to praise and worship God, you will treasure it more. It is like the Chinese saying:

“人要等到失去之后才会懂得珍惜”

But beyond this revelation there is another greater one... When you know that there are people happily worshiping God inside a walled conference room without much distraction from the outside world, and sometimes know not the weather outside, whether it is sunshine or a rainy day... but you are left outside serving, away from the presence of God, facing either burning sun or cooling rain... and I kind of linked this to those who know not Christ... I feel sad for them... Slowly, with other issues, I came into a revelation that I finally told God, and I wanted to tell the world that:

"I am God's faithful usher, and I serve beyond the four walls of the Church!"

Which is why, God's ministries cannot be limited within churches only, they must go beyond! That's also why Jesus talked about the "extra mile", the spirit and attitude of excellence~! That's why I am thinking of greatness, my all-time-favorite value (system). And I want to serve the world, change the world in a "like never before" manner! Haha...

In addition, just like some other faithful and fervent members, I also had desire to be raised up as a Cell Group Leader (CGL) and to attend School of Theology (SOT) organized by the Church... 2 years ago, I attended Reverend Mike Connell's deliverance service via CHC. In the hope of getting dramatic deliverance, I got a leader (who helped out in the healing and deliverance) laid hand on me and prayed instead. And what he prayed? He prayed that I would raise up as a CGL! And then recently, I attended my ex-CG members' wedding dinner, and met other ex-CG members. In our conversation, they kind of expected me to be a CGL by now! Haha... Somehow, or maybe, I just have the "look" or "kuan" of a typical leader? Haha... or maybe it is just people's humble and encouraging words? Or really, it is the calling of the Lord? Really? But anyways... things didn't turn out good here... I didn't manage to become a CGL... Guess circumstances got me... After all, it really the timing that did not favor me... sigh... And the SOT is just another story... (not telling now. :p)

As an imaginative being and one who belief himself as being creative, I love to make up stories, new ideas and new theories. I think I have talent in creative writings... But I was also weak in languages at times, literatures and vocabulary in both Chinese and English. I wish I have the time to improve on these so that I can really go on trying to write stories... I have many wonderful imaginations and brilliant stories, but again I was limited by my incapability. I studied a little drawing skills before. I thought of drawing comics, but my drawing skills... is like... one thing that I would never show off to people one... Haha...

One interesting fact about story ideas... I think I was inspired by the world's (especially Chinese) all-time-favorite author, Jin Yong (金庸）and game story like Final Fantasy VII. So I had my own sets of story timeline, characters and stuff. After I became a Christian and attended my Church, all of my characters also "accepted Christ"~! Haha... Erm... if you know what I mean lah... I was trying to say, the stories before I know Christ are those fantasy stuff while after I know Christ, those stories also have put in the element of Christ. Haha...

In addition to greatness, I really hope that I can venture into new business and earning big profit$!!!. I graduated with Bachelor Degree in Business And Management Studies. I thought of applying what I have learned and put them into real action plans... But then again, this is the part of me that I wish I am able to further develop onto...

Being a very much thoughtful and all-rounder person, I also having some problems in choosing a career path. Some times I think I can do a lot of things with a wide variety, I can be artist, businessman, scientist, inventor, engineer???, philosopher! etc. because of my wide scope of thoughts. But in the end, I didn't do anything great, I don't have a specific career path and professions. Once in my life I came into a conclusion that only one job is suitable for me and that is writer! Only by one who writes stories and scripts, I can be more than one person, one role, one profession etc.! Because in any stories, it is very least possible to only have one character. Instead, there are certain numbers of characters in any stories. When one story gets more complicated, it tends to have more characters. And this just remind myself that I actually love variety~! I get much excitement when I know about a variety of stuff, such as colours, animals, people, character and stuff... That is also one of the reason why I love stories with a lot of characters, and especially with unique and differentiable personality, style, preference, and even power! Such as X-men, 天龙八部(金庸）(Tian Long Ba Bu by Jin Yong). I wish I can write stories as such.

Oh! There is one more wish that I have, i.e. to produce movie! Because I like to watch movie also and will be inspired by certain movies once in a while. Recently, after watching some movies I had come into a thirst in my desire, I feel and have a revelation of this "There must be something more in a movie"! A lot of movies are being filmed and shown each years. The competition is intense but I can hardly catch one real good and remarkable movie... It is like... movie come, movie go, but only a few can stay in my heart; only a few that is, that is real good and powerful that can change the course of your mindset, your life... Hmmm, maybe the people doesn't yearn for a change? Maybe people just wanna relax their body and mind by catching an entertaining movie? So it is entertainment and not enlightenment? Haha... Anyways, "something more than a movie", or "something more in a move" is a question or a seed that has left in my heart, waiting for an answer, a season of blossoms and revelations!

I had talked much about my great things, but am I any closer to any of these? Nope! All of such only remain as my dreams and imagination... I can't make my first step here... sad. Lieh-not-enough. Let there be enough. :)

Lieh not Enough~! (Part 3) -- My Commitments, My Life

Main Label: I, Me & Myself

"Oh no... Lieh not enough le... Everybody wants a piece of Lieh! I wish for 8 more Liehs: (1) One for God, (2) One for family, (3) One for friends (and maybe one more for more friends!), (4) One for games! (5) One for gym and be handsome, (6) One to do Great things! (7) One to do all other little things, (8) One to enjoy every beautiful things in the world, (9) And last one just for simply doing nothing! ... ... ... Ok, reserve for girl friend lah!"

Lieh

(5). Gym and Being Handsome
I wasn't very keen in Physical Education (PE) when I was schooling. My PE always failed that time. And I didn't make an effort to improve on it much because I didn't have to serve in the army, so what's the purpose? When I was in Poly, a friend of mine brought me to a fitness centre, California Fitness Centre (CFC) to say the name. Don't know why also, I signed up a membership in the end. But still, I didn't utilize this membership much until...

After I graduated from Poly, this was the time that I made more utilization of the gym centre. That time, I happened to have some hundreds dollars. So I decided to sign up a personal training (PT) of about 8 to 10 sessions with my personal trainer (also acronym as PT?). And this was the moment that "changed my life"! Haha...

With the aid of PT, and happened to have a chance of eating less (because not staying with my mama mah), I successfully slimmed down from about 65kg to 58kg, and obtained a more toned body! But now coming back to JB, staying with my loving mum, I gained up to 68kg over a period of 2 years! And then my current weight is about 66kg. I lost about 2kg after coming back from Vietnam trip. Why? Cos I ate the "wrong" food and got diarrhea over a period of about 3 weeks! Daily, I couldn't eat much. Toilets were my frequent going places. On the first week, I thought "I can get well soon", so didn't heed doctor, but... On the second week, I decided to see my so-called family doctor who after examined my stomach, advised me to take Vitagen, 2 to 3 bottles a day... Yah, I was surprised by his saying and I thought he was not going to gimme additional medicines, haha... He gave me some medicines, including antibiotics... But I didn't get much better. So on the third week, I went to see another doctor near my house, had an injection from my buttock "ouch!" (not really painful though), more medicine, stronger antibiotics, and this doctor actually "went on extra mile" to gimme fever medicine where I didn't have fever! His stand was, "usually such diarrhea will generate heat in your body, causing fever". Well, after I had consumed this doctor's given medicine, except the fever one, I finally got better... Yah, only "better". Only a few days after I finished the medicine, I could finally say, "I'm recovered totally"!

So much story just to tell how I lost the 2kg... Anyways, coming back to my topic: gym. Since the sessions with my PT, I not only lost weight, but also gained a much better looking body. People could tell from my "shape" that I got workout regularly. I don't mean of those big muscles in body building, because I was losing weight, remember? In this weight losing process, I lost most of my "baby fats"; my shoulder become broader and stronger enough for a girl to cry on; I got chests you know! A beautiful V-shape body; sexy waist I tell you! That was the time I feel so "confident" in my life. But... “好景不长。。。” I stopped this habit of exercising when I became too busy with Church commitments and other stuff... Finally, I stopped going back to my lovely CFC totally when I shifted back to JB...

Days that I stopped gym & exercising, I realized that I fall sick easily... And I think I looks no energy, tired, sleepy most of the time. I could still remember, I looked more energetic, and really am more energetic when I kept a habit of exercising. That's why I love "pumping" myself in fitness centres. However, there is something here in my mind that I am not able to think through... I know that I will look better and feel better when I exercise regularly. But to achieve that, I have to spend time, quality time in fitness centre. Last time when I studied in MDIS, I happened to have lots of such quantity of time for me to gym in fitness centre. I spent like hours in the centre every time I went there. I do all kinds of exercise, from cardio, upper body, legs, abs, attending classes like body pump, body combat, and finally before going to shower, I would also spend time in the sauna and steam room! It was like, I was really totally utilize this fitness centre's facilities!

However, times that I do not have regular exercise, I would spent time... or rather, my time is spent in sickness and sleeping... I feel to exercise or not, time is still wasted... What I mean is like, time is still needed for building up a healthy lifestyle of exercising, if not time will be spent on and with sickness, and when you gets older, more sickness will befriend with you... But nevertheless, I guess the point is still that exercising not only gimme a better look (energetic, nice body & "sexy" body, haha...) and better feel （more confident), it also keeps me healthy and away from sickness, and definitely beneficial in the long run. Therefore, I would still prefer “waste time" in exercising than to mourn with sickness in bed! Haha...

I also love the feeling during gym and exercising, during those muscles building or body shaping moment... I love the idea that "when you think you can't" but with a little push, or motivation, you realize that actually you can! Yes, you can do it! So you see, body exercising is not only beneficial to the physical body itself, it also helps to develop your mind. And of course, a positive mindset. How true it is... when people say, if you wanna slim down, any methods will do, but the most important factor is still your mind, i.e. your determination! I strongly agree with this man! In addtion, I especially love the feeling of exhausting myself, my body, my muscle with those equipments of muscle shaping, cardio, etc. etc. I think I can't really keen in describing such feelings, I couldn't find any best words or phrase here to describe the feelings perfectly... Maybe also because that was like 3 years ago... Yah, it is about 3 years already... And I am looking forward to get back such healthy habit!

Thank-God-ly, a fitness centre called "Clark Hatch" decided to open up a branch here in JB. And yes! I signed up! I couldn't wait to get back my "nice body"! "Toned body, I miss ya~!" Right now, there are a total of 3 branches here in JB. The one that I signed up is located in City Square. There is another branch located in Danga Bay which is near to the seaside, facing Singapore. But I heard from the staff that this branch is not affiliated with the branch in City Square, due to different management and therefore different promotion and stuff. However, one older branch is located in Permas Jaya, it has swimming pool aslo... and this branch is affiliated! The membership package I signed up allows me to go to this branch, however, Permas Jaya is way too far from my house in Skudai... :( so sad... I wish I can find some time to swim there...

Since the branch had opened, I only went there once till date! So sad... Truly, I wish I can spend lots of time "sticking" to the gym like in the past, shaping up my body... 6 packs! I wish I could achieve that... Though in the past, I spent lots of effort in the gym, I could still never get my 6 packs. I would really want, for once in my life, to get that sexy-six-packs man! I really want it! Every time I do Goal-Setting, there are goals that "don't really seems like a goal, but more to a habit thing, or something that we ought to do regularly", but I set them as goals to achieve. This results in ineffective goal setting I guess... But to me, "to have 6 packs" is really something that I could call it a "goal"! No doubt! Dear God, for once in my life, just let me have it! Please~~~ I will work hard to achieve it!

Yeah! Maybe by now, if you are reading, you should have sensed the "vainness" in me? Yeah, I'm kinda vain pot that you can call... But one will not easily draw into this conclusion if you always see me... This is because my "vainness" is much covered up by my shyness... Haha... And my idea of dressing up, grooming, looking good, etc starts with the physical body and appearance itself. To me, as a guy, to look good in front of others, what really matter is your body and face, what you wear will come second. If I don't have a nice body, wearing anything will do... Of course, I will still try to wear nice and "update" lah... But I assure you this, if you see me having a toned body, that's the time you will realize I will dress real different to "show off" the "essence" of human body shape which is wrapped within the clothes I am wearing... Haha... Oh... I miss those singlets... Oh~ No~ I'm such a vain pot... God help me~! Haha... Anyways, my fashion stands is like this:

“我穿衣服，不是衣服穿我”

Hope you can understand the essence of this quote... What I want to mean is, I bring up the clothes I am wearing, and not the clothes I am wearing bring me up... In whichever sense, the person should still be the main thing, and not of the clothes...

Some people say I am handsome... I don't know about that... But also, I don't want to deny that! Haha~~~ Oops... Anyways, but this is what I find out: (1) I am aunties' & uncles' market. Most uncles and aunties will find me good-looking, unless their children is better looking than myself? Haha... (2) In place with no handsome guy, I tend to stand out. But when there is handsome guy around, I will tend to fade off... Sigh... and not to mention my height... My 166cm is not enough for me to qualify as a model... :( Height-not-enough also...

OK lah, my only desire regarding this issue now is to first get back the more toned and defined body, then have my sis, Ah Bee, also known as (AKA) Finn, a professional photographer to shoot down many photos and have my portfolio... I had one portfolio that time... Went to take the portfolio with my best friend and her sister. Another interesting story here again! But ain't telling lah... Haha... Anyways, that portfolio was not bad, but I will not call it a success neither. My sis, Ah Bee Finn, was a little angry with me when she found out about the portfolio. It was a "You wanna shoot portfolio, why didn't look for me???" thing. After she looked at those photos, I guessed she had wonderful time laughing and mocking at me ba... Haha... So, "to compensate" I will try my best to get back the body of mine, and to have a much better one, then have my sis to be my photographer this time. I'll be her model, and help her advertise her skill~! haha... Wish us "all the best" okay?

Yeah~! I am so excited about this! I wanna keep fit and stay handsome! Haha~ Regardless I have some doubts and disappointment with my God, spirituality and faith questions, I am still thankful that there are still such hope that keep me going, that light up and spice up my life...

So in the end, this entry only talk about keeping fit and stay handsome, huh? Aijo... still got so many things to say... Lieh-not-enough, height-not-enough, blog-not-enough... How? Haha... At least I enjoy writing blogs ya~!